I can't wait to see that matchup of Duce Jones and Pooh Jeter. Should be a real shit show.

I totally agree with Nate. It's like that asshole in my office who sits in the corner and every once in a while yells at me to "GET BACK TO WORK" or "STOP SENDING OUT PORN".

Shoulda been you, Archie.

This love letter brings back memories of the one Dexter Manley wrote to Rae Dawn Chong after watching Commando for the first time:

He was inspired by Brett Favre, who after winning his first Super Bowl, put a championship toe ring around his penis.

Muhammad Ali is trying to tweet a picture of his Cole Haan belt that he put in the fridge, but sadly, he is using a blender to take the photo.

No, no, no, YES, no, no, no, no.

You think hamburger face is dangerous, try ham sandwich esophagus.

Brain farts is what Jeffrey Dahmer had if he undercooked his meal.

Ozzy Osbourne was my coach, until the day he tried to fire us up by biting the head off of a bat. He had to be taken to the hospital for emergency dental surgery.

One "woman/man" is on Jamie Lee Curtis' birth certificate.

That's how important the issue was; probably nobody remembers, not even me.

After singing to them, she shows off her impressive talent of being able to eat a corn on the cob through a chain link fence.

Pol Pot: I just frew in from the jungle and boy are my arms tired.

Rediscovering the Muppets

"Dookie Sisters" was Ashley and Courtney Paris's nicknames after Taco Tuesday night at the dorms.

"Oh shit. I'm dead." were also Lenny Bruce's last two observations.

Also persona non grata in Bristol? Levi Johnston

In an effort to make the Muhammad Ali wax statue more lifelike, the Odditorium staff attached it to a paint can shaker.

The other kids were sad candy didn't come out of her arm.