Somewhere, Carl Lewis is nodding in approval.

his facial expression alone right before the cotton candy decides it wants out makes this my new favorite gif. Courtesy your newest favorite Tumblr page.

Per usual, our D.C. teams just fade away... I guess the Caps deserve to be forgotten for now. They are now 1-4 in Game 7's at home in the past six years. They strung out yet another series they once had control of to seven games and blew it. I guess as a Capitals fan, we can take solace in the fact that another team…

"Heartbreak should be social"

I'm pretty sure that Vonn is actually the drunk one. Why else would a pretty little white girl be in the arms of a black man?

So I was sitting my couch eating my McDowells, listening to the new Sexual Chocolate cassette, when I hear the white girl screaming....

JaVale McGee

[Posts picture of Brad Pitt screaming, "what's in the box?"]

Manti Te'o

Tanning is stupid. Stop doing it. You're killing yourselves. Besides, white people have spent this much time convincing the rest of us that pale skin is better and now they're flipping it around? Turning this shit upsidedown! I've had it! /flipstable

"Shit is real"

Dipshit #1: Man, [Pictured] is exactly why I fucking hate those people. They are better athletes than us. They always have some ridiculously extravagant jewelry that they probably stole or got from selling drugs. And all they do is sit around and drink and shit.

This theme should be extended for all of the downtrodden:

Living in DC and paying a little bit of attention to Kim Jong-Un and his bloviating has me occasionally thinking about how he might actually try to use a nuclear weapon in DC. So yesterday as I'm pretending to work from home, I see some dude scale the fence behind my house, sprint across my yard and take off for the…