HA HA HA HA HA! *cough* *breathes in* I'm sorry I'm sorry..... HAAAAA HA HA HA HA

That first story is just unbelievable. Airlines let expectant mothers fly in their third trimester?

Far from the first time that a dick has been on full display in Downtown Chicago.

Reporter: Did you see Welker eat drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Did you see Welker smoke drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Did you see Welker inject drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Did you see Welker snort drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Is Dan Shaughnessy an asshole?
Brady: Weeeeelll...

This surely wasn't the first time Brady saw Welker drop something.

I can't decide if the super unhip "I don't take marijuana" phrasing is an argument for his innocence or for his agent's skill in drafting subtly effective emails.

Lacky: "Welker popped Molly"

Pfft. Julian Edelman gives you the same performance for only, like, half the number of amphetamines....

In related news, Giants fans mourn the passing of Eli Manning.

Totally. In the email to Deadspin the dude was like "As any guy would, I told the guy to fuck off"....he left out the part where he then bro'd it out with him about how DOPE naked chicks are.

how do I get in contact with this guy? I will trade trade naked pictures of my bitch... Here's a sample from one night where we went on a walk across a bridge and then she was all tired and laying around...

I like how he goes from being upset this guy is asking for videos and pictures of his girlfriend to begging to see naked videos and pictures of other peoples' girlfriends.

I could feel a Rice Crispies-like popping of brain cells dying in my head as I read that exchange.

If Derek Jeter were in these, we wouldn't have any issues fulfilling the audio verification requirement.

Actually, if anything, the focus on Rotherham is likely to have made the police action in this case *more* likely. Rotherham is, largely, about the police (and other public bodies) failing to take action when they should have done.

These reminds me of a Colbert bit, when he was talking about people blaming Obama for everything. He illustrated this with a you tube video of a cat playing with water coming out of faucet and the first comment was "Obama is a fucking idiot". I don't know why, but this joke made me laugh harder than anything else I've…

He's married to a hot lady soldier... I hope against hope they are looking for a third.

One of my friends was raised a Jets fan, and in his twenties, his dad sat him and his brother down and very, very sincerely apologized for it.

A gay man showering with a bunch of straight men is nothing like a straight man showering with women. Maybe it would be if we lived in some kind of alternate universe where gay men were constantly sexually assaulting and degrading straight men, but until that happens, you need to get the hell out of here with that.