I quit twitter, so maybe you can send this to him from me:

Oh my god. I have a friend who has been saying the husband did it and posted links that “proved” he did it. I'll have to ask her what she thinks about this. I'm sure she'll be adjusting her tin foil hat

Forget it; he’s rolling.

And much like when the Germans invaded Pearl Harbor.

Gorilla tactics.

To be distracted by a large banana?

We have lengthy discussions on the issue

“usually reasonable burlap sack full of rancid Peeps...” -do you lie awake at night thinking of these? They are simply epic and may get me through the next year with these asshats.

This method got me into trouble at work with the new guy.

I wouldn’t mind Frasier’s apartment. Or NYC in FO5 with the apartments from Friends and Seinfeld. The skeletal remains of Marcel and Little Jerry would be welcome.

The sex stuff this new generation is doing is out of control. Eye play?! That’s dangerous. Someone could go blind. In my day, the only kinky thing we did was watch The Mary Tyler Moore Show while making whoopie on the sofa. If you looked at the screen at the wrong time, sure, you’d climax to Ed Asner, but the worst…

YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!

What does the yellow spare tire cover on the HUMVEE say?

From the looks of that escort its either a nuke, a crashed UFO and occupants (I WANT TO BELIEVE) or a dry run for transporting President Donald Trump’s hair pieces.

Good point! I think a kiss on the first date is a bit brazen, especially if we haven’t decided if there’s going to be a second date yet. But then I come from a long line of pearl clutchers.

He definitely plays golf with Naked Lady tees.

I call this entire ensemble the “What would happen if Rodney Dangerfield and a bloated, possibly mumps-infected Andrew McCarthy reproduced a fully grown man?” look.

So basically, anyone who ever says “no” is lying? NOOOOO!!!!!

Like I said. Thinking’s not really your strong suit and yet you keep responding.

Not really your strong suit, thinking.