Is it just me or is Kim Jong-un looking chunkier than ever?

Beck should have sung it.

As a representative of the "American Heartland" woman, in my forties, I hate to break it to M. Hucks, but we've been smoking, swearing, fucking, and drinking in the flyover states for quite a while now. Wearing pants, voting, showing our ankles, the whole shebang. It's like we think we're people or something.

this is my day job.

True. It distracted from the sophisticated humor of the fake blowjob.

it's.. me.

Fuck off, chubby

Tell us a story about all the hi-jinks he and his ragamuffin partner get into!

Its kinda funny this came up. I have a friend who's a cop. Detective to be exact and loves his job. He came into a decent amount of family money, not sure how much but it was a pretty good amount and after properly setting everything up with an accountant and financial planner he splurged and got a lightly used…

Auction? A Ferrari? What Ferrari? Who said we had a Ferrari?

This is classic. It's almost unbelievable.

I applaud this decision. In fact there should be separate flights for men and woman. As a gay man, I look forward to a lady-free sausage flight.

You know you done fucked up when your own mother is happy you weren't home for Thanksgiving.

the one on the right triiiied to hold it together

"What was it like, raising these two?"
"It has not been easy." and then later, "I know we have to take responsibility for them."

I'm ROLLING.

She's so embarrassed by those two. That's the glorious part of all this. You can just picture her sitting there watching this, afraid the neighbors are all seeing her children duke…

LITERAL BEST MOM

Dear Moms of All Politicians Everywhere,

I remember years ago, a woman called into the C-SPAN morning show because she wanted to talk about conditions for injured soldiers at Walter Reed and how she was in Washington and had gone in to see them and was appalled at the state of the hospital. The host asked her some more questions and deduced (correctly) that…

You could actually see them turn into eight-year-old boys over the course of the segment. So good.