Oh, my apologies then. You just happened to be at the tail end of a lot of people being unnecessarily rude/sarcastic about my comment.

Ehhhh "program" turns into "random guy sifting through my photos" pretty quickly, unfortunately.

Not really the point. I don't have anything to hide either, but the thought of someone else perusing my personal correspondence makes my skin crawl.

Is that how these things work? I had no idea.

It has absolutely nothing. I was just passing along a fun fact.

Not saying it's not the cost of doing business. Just passing a long a fun story.

The fuck are you talking about? I'm 9 years old? Because I mentioned a story about someone I'm related to? My apologies that your life is so shitty and depressing that the only joy you get is anonymously shitting on other people on the internet. Long story short: go fuck yourself!

Thanks for being a condescending douche.

I am lucky enough to be related to a member of the USMNT who went to Brazil for the World Cup and has a deal with Adidas. He also happens to have an endorsement deal with a regional energy drink brand. The amount of rules and restrictions on what he can wear, drink, and be seen in public with are insane, and…

That's fucking awesome. I buy.

Yeah he totally got screwed by getting exactly what he wanted.

I was unaware Hillary was an incumbent African-American president running for reelection.

Hi, welcome to the real world. Hillary will have the LGBT vote regardless of whether or not she takes a firm stance. Taking a firm stance would alienate those opposed to the LGBT community but still supporting her. Ergo, no firm stance will be taken.

Why do you use logic here but still think weed should be illegal?

Uhhhh, what "younger audience"? No one under the age of 30 gives a fuck about baseball anymore.

I always let my kids choose. They choose whatever it is that I bought because it was cheap.

It's somewhat depressing that a lot of the absurd Yelp reviews have cat pictures as their icons.

"silently allowing that phrase to be rattled off" I think this is my favorite part of the whole piece. Like Landon Donovan should call and correct every sports outlet across the world.

Spend less time searching for memes and more time understanding what a midfield is supposed to do.

Please stop with this "best athletes" thing. It's old. It's tired. It's not true.