Oh my gosh, yes! Spread the word. I wish I had known about it when we first adopted a cat. I would have far fewer arm scars. She has a companion book called How to Talk to Your Dog, which I haven't read, but if it's anything like her cat book, it's probably really helpful for first-time animal owners.

This is going to sound silly, but bear with me. Jean Craighead George has a really excellent kids' book called How to Talk to Your Cat, which covers the basics of using cat behavior to get a cat to understand your intentions and not get freaked out and bite you. I'm a librarian, and I recommend it to people who have…

I kind of want him to be Bond, too. I mean, I know he can do a flawless American accent, but Idris Elba + British accent = me weak in the knees. But he would also be a badass Superman. I'm torn.

Yes, the whole withdrawing attention thing really works. That's exactly what one cat would do to another cat that's annoying it - just get up and walk away. Things really start clicking once you figure out how to communicate with them on their own terms.

He sounds awesome. My little brother REALLY wanted a bearded dragon when he was a kid, so we always stopped and looked at them in the pet store.

My husband and I usually just go out to dinner. (Sometimes "go out to dinner" = order pizza and watch Downton Abbey.)

Agreed. Flat roof picnic is a totally reasonable idea.

What kind of 17 year-old is going on these kinds of dates? These are the date you go on in your early 20s, when you have a little bit of money. When I was seventeen, my top three date activities were,

Oh, thank god. I've probably been hearing too much about people illegally buying Gaboon vipers or mambas and then them getting loose.

It makes me worry about choking.

Oh my god, this is hilarious. Your husband is such a good sport. Of course, my bias is showing, because I'm pretty sure my 33 year-old husband would respond in almost exactly the same way to all of these things. Especially the roof comment.

Not sure if trolling. . . I would definitely say so, but I just saw this:

Yes to everything bogartcat said. It's hard to get yourself to yell something so cute, but it's not like you have to curse at them or actually be angry. Yell "OUCH!" loud enough to surprise him. Right now, he probably doesn't realize what he's doing hurts, since that's how kittens play together, but making a loud…

Ha! One of ours will turn into a bear trap if you try to touch his belly. You will get clawed to death if you make the mistake of trying to give him belly rubs, but never bitten. Weird.

Yeah, one of mine will "chew" on my fingers, which mainly means holding them in his mouth and slobbering on me, but he's clearly not in any danger of breaking the skin. Our vet told us he does that because he was improperly weaned and that's it's kind of the cat equivalent of thumb sucking. Only it involves my…

I was saying the same thing to my therapist the other day. It's fucking horrifying how widespread it is.

Get your cat to the vet to get that checked out. Their mouths shouldn't smell like something dead. If they do, it's probably a sign that something's wrong.

Informal survey for other cat owners: do your cats bite a lot? I've been scratched (mostly by accident or while giving them a bath), but neither of mine have ever bitten me in the eight years we've had them. (Knock on wood.)

Please tell me you are joking and don't really have a Komodo dragon. :(

Yes, get your cat to the vet. Ours had the same horrible stink breath, and the vet ultimately ended up having to remove nine of his teeth. (After experiments with special tooth-cleaning food failed.) We have to take him in twice a year for a shot that keep his teeth from rotting out of his head. Poor kitty.