This article is dumb as hell. Have you ever heard of Anna Wintour? Angelica Huston? No? Well, here are my bangs. Look how sad and childish I am!

No open bar?!?

I support this statement. I am under 40 and don’t trust me.*

I have surrounded myself with positive people for 34 years and I don’t plan on changing it now.

Yeah, that sure is a penis.

Ugh millennials think they invented everything.

This isn’t new, it’s just new technology. Back in the day, I sent a carrier pigeon who ended up getting lost and flying west instead of east, and the result was a beautiful, long, sustained pigeon-exchange. We celebrated our seventeenth anniversary in August.

Sweetheart, I have been there. Many of us have.

My best friend in the whole world is a woman who’s mother committed suicide 20 years ago. There is not a single day that goes by that my friend doesn’t think about her mom. Holidays are especially hard for her. And it;s been two decades.

First - you need a HUG. BIG HUG.

This is a labrador thing? My friend’s labrador has almost died twice (although this dog is nowhere near smart enough to open cupboards on his own): once after his girlfriend forgot to lock the dog’s food cupboard, and the second time when the cat unlocked the cupboard and was found watching the dog’s bloated, heaving…

Cavuto: At least I have a brain to take over. My point is —

I’ve been saying it for years. If republicans actually bothered to pay attention to what he said, they’d realize they hate Jesus. He IS a communist who hates people who make money off of their faith. He also says prayer and faith should be a very private thing and that no one else should know about your faith. All he…

I liked cauliflower’s old stuff better.

My son last week: “Mom, please tell everyone NOT to get me cologne for Christmas or my birthday this year. Your friends and family have awful taste and no sense of smell.”

What color is Joanna Newsom’s dress anyway? Peach? Plum? Pear?

I wonder about the trolling, too. He calls Trump birth certificate man or something. That’s not something you would say to a presidential candidate you like? Or is it? The conservative right mystifies, you know?

“Biscuits and gravy.”

You are a wise soul and you speak truth to Shower.

I think you are reading something into it that isn’t there. Men’s times are just generally better than women’s. It’s not a statement of value. He is simply acknowledging the fact that she was near the top of her sport as a woman, but won’t be now that he’s competing with the men.