I am 100% all for consenting adults figuring out whatever sexual dynamics work for them in their individual relationships. As long as everyone knows what's going on and everyone's emotional needs are being taken care of, why should anyone else care? And you know, life is long and relationships are hard work - how can…

Making a cat dance for one's life partner goes beyond the physical realm of pleasure. Slightly lifting a cat to a semi standing position and wiggling it to music is the most intimate experience two humans can share.

"making the cat 'dance' on the other person" ................?

It takes years to master, and though it does have its rewards, the reward I seek is not a hot dog. Moose does tricks; I memorize lines, say words, even walk around and stuff. But I don't need a trainer standing off-camera, gesticulating wildly and waving around a piece of meat, to know where I'm supposed to look.

I would love to casually shake out a giant extension at a party or something, just to freak people out.

It's okay, Brit, You know what they say, better an extensional crisis than an existential one.

Impressed with his parents' ability to make the name "Derek" even more basic.

"We don nee ta go nowhe tonigh...we get to tay our tie..." SWEET TITTY CHRIST, FINISH A FUCKING WORD. Does she have no one in her life to tell her to enunciate?

Pennsylvania - the Florida of the North.

Reminds me of my second grade birthday party. I invited a bunch of kids and only one showed up. Very small outing to Showbiz Pizza.

I get sweaty just looking at this dress. Remember the episode of Friends where Ross wears leather pants and smacks himself in the face with a baby powdered hand trying to pull them back up because the powder made a paaaaaastte?

It is so fucking weird the way celebrities get involved in comforting depressed or suicidal fans. I don't even necessarily think it's the various celebrities' fault; it seems like it's become kind of a Thing to reach out to your favorite beloved celebrity for help on Instagram, and what are they going to do, NOT…

i thought of rhyming it but dude's not worth it

Lol is Kid Rock serious? I always love it when artists I don't like give me a reason not to like them. I always got an "I'm an undercover bigot" vibe from him, and I can see, once again, I was correct.

Kid Rock is not only homophobic, but racist, misogynist and also has no idea that Rock and Roll was possible due to the Blues & R&B.

i want to light myself on fire because of how fucking fantastic this whole thing was

Eww. You don't know her.

*Snuffleupagus