So how do American companies make so much money but can't keep employing people?

I've got a Wii U and sometimes I feel like they didn't test it enough.

Sounds like we gotta wait for the remake.

Someone please turn it into a book.

The Japanese are laughing right now.

My eyesight's pretty bad but some people simply can't see pixels. Everything looks like print to them. Which is why some people think Apple's retina is BS (the tech specs don't lie when it comes to dpi).

Oh, I know (really, your comments appear often around these parts).

One of the greatest discussion threads I have seen on Kotaku.

If you've watched the anime and are current with the manga, you'll see that the anime just speeds shit up to America.

Finally, some next-gen pics that aren't mostly pitch black.

Fuck yeah. So many times in my life I've enjoyed a piece of media only to see the ending fucked. This is one of the main reasons why I'm an English major, to rewrite things the way I see fit.

The East has had enough of your bullshit. You attack our eyes, we go for your big noses.

A man who understands: overclock the shit out of everything.

It's because the 3DS isn't seamlessly built to work with the Wii U and vice-versa.

Soon this technology will get so good they it'll pretty much be a planet Earth recorder. Down to picking your nose, they'll have it all on tape.

Naw, cops don't get these guns until they become obsolete.

Our corporations will kill our country until a president with balls changes things up.

Old man casually warning them about something of grave importance?

Many gamers are entitled fucking brats. Simple as that.

Please translate this into a feature story that's easy to read [reasonably bite sized]