“I’ve never withdrawn in my life” Grooooossssssss

I assume Chris Christie was unable to be reached because he was out getting everybody’s donuts and Starbucks?

He’s hardly taking a Holier Than Thou approach. All of those things were done with consenting adults, and he apologized to it. I wouldn’t marry him, but I can respect someone who says “I fucked up, and I can be garbage sometime.” That is NOT what Trump does. Trump says, “maybe I fucked up, but you’re ugly and fat and…

But why wouldn’t you tell her that, if you thought it might help her get the hell out of there? The death count in Haiti is over 100 and counting. Your friend COULD die.

If you send things back multiple times at your OWN restaurant it gives the people you’re with the impression that the food is not good. The very people you are trying to impress.

Now that this story is public, he’ll never ketchup in the polls.

The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

Birth control without prescription is definitely a way for the government to weasel out of providing health care, particularly women’s health care, for another 10 to 20 years. But it’ll also make people sick. Ayotte’s rationale is truly arrogant: It supposes that the requirement for a prescription comes from…

I love that whenever a woman on the Voice says “I’m going to give this classic song my own spin” all that means is “I’m going to sing all breathy like Colbie Caillat after she runs a 5k” and whenever a man says it, it means “you like Mumford and Sons Johnny Appleseed bullshit?”

Lovato just won’t let go of this. She goes out of her way to criticize Taylor Swift (of which I’m not a fan btw) and it’s getting kind of weird. And slamming skinny women for not having “real” or “normal” bodies? She should hear herself talk. Way to accuse someone of being a fake feminist and then just doing the same…

He and Kim—noted forensics fan—are likely holed up together and will solve this case in 48 hours.

Is Brad pregnant? Sources say yes and he’s doing it to fill the void from his divorce. Revealing baby bump bikini pics on page 12.

Jennifer Aniston is half Greek. (Look for pictures of her with her original nose.) Being half Greek myself, I am well aware of the astonishing durability of grudges in that particular culture. (I believe this to be a common feature of Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cultures, but Greeks really elevate it to an art…

Apply ice directly to the burn

You can tell it’s delicious by how yellow it is.

If Brad Pitt wants the public to ignore his divorce he should have Terrence Malick direct it.

“There’s an endless appetite for trash, apparently, though everyone would say that they don’t have that appetite,”

Is now a good time to talk about the economic, environmental, and health benefits of reducing our meat consumption?

If you think Brad and Angelina were fighting over Marion Cotillard, turn to page 32. If you think Brad and Angelina were fighting over moving to Syria, turn to page 45.