The news was, but it almost made some of the snark extra funny.

I know I've said this like five times already, but Lindy West dirtbags are my FAVORITE dirtbags. Everything is a zinger.

The California Dreams theme song is now stuck in my head, and probably will be for the rest of the day.

I used to fall asleep on the living room floor watching Nick at Nite as a kid. I loved Mary Tyler Moore. I had a lot more patience for I Love Lucy back then (and all the Lucy shows, really, because all three of them were on back-to-back after Snick on Saturday nights). My small town didn't have the Disney channel and…

Blacklight poster comparison for Jacqueline Woods' dress is spot on. I can see someone wanting to get high and hang out with that dress.

She'll be here all week, ladies and gents!

Especially in that gravelley, terse voice he uses sometimes as Eric on True Blood. Tell me all about the carbohydrate content. With AND without the half cup serving of lowfat milk, please.

Mmmm. Yes, Bristol, it's all God's fault. You had absolutely nothing to do with the selection of boyfriend that God picked out for you (isn't God just so controlling?).

She really does. I usually turn my nose up at "celebrity designers" but never her - the woman has been obsessed with fashion her whole life and actually knows how to assemble garments and not just put together outfits that look pretty. The LAMB perfume was great and I'm still bummed that they don't make it anymore.

Ok seriously, WHO buys all of this celebrity perfume? Hardly anyone I know even uses perfume. The people I know who do use it seem to go for more established brands and scents. The only one I've ever tried that I enjoyed (of the celebrity variety) was Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B. which has unfortunately been discontinued…

Back when Giovanni Ribisi had that curly 90's alternative hair, I really had the hots for him.

If I were more anxious than I already am, I could accomplish nothing, because I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.

My FAVORITE rage face.

Wow. The people in that photo look straight up unhappy. Also maybe confused.

I doubt it. It'll just be another kitschy thing in a district of kitschy things. I live in Austin now, full of Alamo Drafthouses, and the atmosphere of the place comes from it being Austin, not being Alamo. Living in KC was very enlightening as to just how segregated places still are.

This is exactly the dress code used in Kansas City's Power and Light entertainment district. Which if you visit it, you will only find non-whites working there, because the unofficial name is the "Power and White District."

No, that's not what I meant by nude, glossy lips. There's a trend of using opaque/near-opaque beige/nude lipstick and then coating it in gloss. I'm all about just throwing on some lip balm or whatever, just not a fan of the blanked-out and glossed lips.

I just can't handle them. I get that they can make your legs look longer, but they're just...icky to me. Probably because I've associated them with nude, glossy lips (also insufferable to me) and the Kardashians. I also just hate beige. So many other wonderful, interesting colors - why cover yourself completely in it?

So, things people touch and things left to sit out have lots of germs.

I was pretty much fine with everything that was going on until I saw all of the beige/"blush" dresses. Gag. Wake me up when the beige dress and shoes are over, please.