What does an autonomous car do if you smash off the mirror and give it the finger?

neutral: as a motorcyclist, i kind of feel like self driving cars will make the roads much safer for me... it won’t matter how much you are texting anymore, there won’t be any idiots deciding to randomly (and without signaling) u-turn across 4 lanes of traffic in front of me... or forget to turn their lights on at…

Bowfinger is one of those delightful little gems that I’ve only ended up liking more as time goes by. It’s still one of my favorite comedic take-downs of Hollywood. (The first time I saw it, which I think was actually during its original run in theaters, I was several years away from having any idea what Scientology…

Murphy’s 80s wardrobe had a definite theme

Beware the ides of March.

Oh, but they’re all so happy, all the time, and they want to tell you all about it! (As soon as they’ve gotten all six kids to bed and the wife has figured out what do with all these LuLaRoe leggings nobody wants to buy from her.)

When the guy from Boston is dunking on you for being racist, you know you have a problem.

Or these hard cases:

No, he does not have the support of the military. At best, he might have 1/3 of the support, the rest would openly rebel. He constantly undermines the leadership of the US military, putting words in their mouths, ignoring their advice in matters of combat. And the most important lesson that even the inbred monarchs of…

“Like with all the nonsense that they do in Congress … with all this invest[igations]—that’s all they want to do is –you know, they do things that are nasty. Republicans never played this.”

Me: “LOL, she’s looking for the engine!”

I wonder how much Charles Dolan shelled out to get Jimmy into SUNY New Paltz on a bogus squash scholarship...

He’s never going to make the big time by kicking out 15% of the audience.

The biggest surprise to me is that people actually seem surprised. Didn’t we always assume that the rich paid to get their kids into whatever school they wanted? I know I always assumed that was the case. Maybe we’re just all collectively amazed that they’re actually finally getting in trouble for it, even though…

Getting into to college is harder than staying in college.  Especially places like USC.

You think the cheating stopped once they got in? How are your friends Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, and Eater Bunny doing?

Philip Morris still sponsors Ferrari after the 2006 ban, we talk about Marlboro.

yea, but I called it first.

$10,000 and a Forte?

There’s a reason Harvard has a $40 billion endowment.