Now THAT is a proper take. Alas, I have but one star to give. 

Can someone check in with Vlad to see what the official Trump reaction will be to this policy? I’d like to go right to the source. 

Yeah, and every one of their scooters is coming to a sidewalk near you, conveniently located to trip you up. 

Can we just talk about a subject everyone can agree on, like cyclists’ right to the road. 

We live in a post-factual world, where definitions are no longer defined, all news is suspect, and facts truly do not matter, especially if they get in the way of our beliefs. Porsche is just making hay with the direction we have chosen to take society. 

Maybe, but they’re probably the least angry assholes in the history of assholery, because EVERYTHING you do on a Grom makes you giggle like the proverbial school girl. Whenever I’ve ridden one (and I’m knocking on the door of 50), I feel like a kid on a bike for the first time. You can pin the throttle on a downhill…

Important question: Can you get it without that fucking iPad mounted atop the dash?

Why? I don’t know. I should have objected stronger. His small-minded thought must have been: “Only UTIs cause blood in the urine. Ergo, it’s an infection. Take this nasty shit.” They should have just told me to keep an eye on it and then come back in a week to see if there are any more traces of blood. But, noo.......

W…

Had blood in my urine after a run a few years ago, which is, apparently not that uncommon, but freaked me out. There was no swelling, no irritation in my urinary tract, but the PA prescribed Cipro prophylactically.

Personally, I don’t mind getting dirty and attempting certain fixes, though I do often need to do things twice. But the internet stories about that thing put the fear in me. Good luck.

You need a new Volvo shop. I had an 04 V70R (Red, Atacama, six-speed) for about two years and 20,000 miles. It was low mileage when I got it (about 68,000 if memory serves), so I figured the problems were for the next owner. Big mistake.

Not sure what the “substance” was on his burger, but my mom bit into a Whopper, only to end up with a Band-Aid in her mouth. True story. That was 1979 or so. She hasn’t been back since. Also, she wasn’t a wuss and never bothered to post about it on Facebook.

Imagine the stop and frisk with a Super Hornet!

Succinct and right to the point. Well done.

I might also add that the U.S. Civil War is one of the few in history where the losers are more lauded than the winners. How does that work?

Are you sure it’s not Toyota dirt?

The exceedingly slim possibility of Ichiro continuing to play baseball is the only—and I mean only—thing keeping me a fan of baseball. Somebody needs to draft him against his will. 

Hell, I just gave him another one, alas, the only one I have to give today.

The grand irony of the word “cocksucker” is that the person who uses it would almost assuredly loved to have his cock sucked, though perhaps not by another man.

I had a friend I use to play ball with, that when I would shout “cocksucker” (not at anyone in particular but when I made a bad move), he would always respond,…

Aaaannnddd...look where that got him. Straight to the unemployment line, though with one of his successors at Audi being fitted for an orange jumpsuit, perhaps there is an opening in Ingolstadt.

So, now, we wait for the bombshell that is the porn websites of a 74-year-old white man who still has the physical dexterity to...