Actually, it's "Aim High". Know your service motto.

Why not just ask for sex? I mean you're in the Air Force there will be at least one female at said party who will gladly have sex with you.

The few, the proud, the date-rapists.

With that kind of retaliation from the Diamondbacks, you'd think McCutchen had gone swimming in their pool or something.

"Could be worse."—Jose Canseco

"DID ANYONE TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THE GAME WAS WON BY A TEAM EFFORT"

Too bad he didn't just punch his girlfriend in the face - then he'd be safe from severe punishment.

I would like to amend this statement. Half the bean balls will be reserved for the creeps who use the urinal next to you even if there are open ones further down. Extreme high heat reserved for those who also talk to you while doing it.

Gordon had 1650 yards and 9 touchdowns in 14 games. While catching passes from Brandon Weeden, Brian Hoyer, and Jason Campbell. Weed didn't seem to be weighing him down too much

I would use all dozen of the baseballs on the asshole who burns popcorn in the office microwave.

So anyone guilty of the following actions in my presence will get a 72-mph fastball to the ribs:

Great, now AJ ruined the Funbag.

Quoth the Ravens, "Nevermore than two games for domestic violence "

I was disappointed when John Candy did not show up at Lilihammer.

Okay so maybe Herman Boone was actually a dick to everyone IRL, but that movie had this guy so all is forgiven, right.

The Blind Side was falsified also, and that's why it says, "Based on a True Story."

Yeah, I prefer my sports movies/shows to be 100% accurate to real life.

In tomorrows story: "Rudy was not liked by his teammates and it was the coach who insisted on playing him"..

If anyone ever tells me The White Shadow is not based on a real story, I'm gonna fuckin' lose it....