I prefer this one.

"Our plan to acquire the Watch Dogs trademark has failed, Pinky. Come, we must prepare for tomorrow night." "Gee Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night? Trademark the word 'candy?'" "No, the same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the WORLD!"

That comparison doesn't work very well, seeing as Seattle is a predominantly literate city.

What do you mean Frank Caliendo is a "schmuck?" He's a phenomenally talented impressionist who can impersonate people whom you don't think are even impersonate-able. He's not one of the those lame comedians who does Pacino and Walken ad nauseum, though he does them superbly as well.

I personally thought the Chris Berman impression was pretty great, also. The wild hand gesticulations were gold.

He's got a Super Bowl ring, his youth, and millions of dollars. Yeah, what a loser.

Confused why #fuckcoke is trending on twitter. I thought Philip Seymour Hoffman died of a heroin overdose

Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd

To answer Raysism's inevitable question ...

The real reason the blue devil has balls in his mouth:

he says with a straight face that "supposedly" stealing $20 and bringing his own liquor into bars "are all felonies, in my book."

He also predicted their win over the 69ers last week.

"Cheering for a football team should never include the casual use of a racial slur."

In response, 400,000 drunk Broncos fans peed the number 18 into the snow outside their homes.

"Leper Messiah," by Metallica. FUN FACT: This song is actually about Tim Tebow.

Try selling that "football is de-fanged" line to all the guys who weren't able to finish that Chiefs-Colts game. I think some of them are able to receive visitors now.

If it's a good Super Bowl, it will be called the New York Super Bowl, if a bad one, the New Jersey Super Bowl.