@Catty Is Cumbersome: Nope, Ms. Catty, I'm neither an English nor a journalism major, but I am a reporter and have been, quite successfully, for many years.

@allypanda: That's what I do, and I'm only 31. Haha.

I not-so-secretly think people who go to journalism school are kind of dumb anyway. I know exactly two people with journalism degrees who actually became journalists. The rest are flaks.

Hasn't the Guardian ever heard of Le Petomane??

Anal-only for the next 188 days!!!!

My mom used to say this kind of stuff to me all the time — absentminded comments about my small tits, my fat thighs, and my big nose. It used to make me crazy. But now I am 31 and I think I'm just plain awesome. I just stop her whenever I bust her doing the same kind of thing to my 13 year old sister. I don't want her…

Also? I'm from San Diego, and Live Wire sucks. It's full of 45 year old scenesters with tattoos that were sexy 20 years ago. And if a black person comes in everybody stares.