Take it from someone who’s lived in San Antonio for more than 4 years and actually knows the city. There is a great night life after 11 pm if you don’t stick to the same crappy venues. The Riverwalk is over rated. The parks and rec here is amazing (Government Canyon ftw) It’s a fairly easy city to navigate. There is…

Not too long ago the biff and I were having amazing, kinky as fuck sex. He was going at a steady pace and I was so in the moment that when I felt something brush my had I assumed it was hair. Right as I feel like I’m about to cum, he stops and says “what the?”. Then I felt something crawl across my chest. He pulls out…

Doesn’t smell like that sweet, black nectar of Goddess herself? No thank you.

Well. She’s the worst.

I need that condom bouquet in my life stat.

Or live in South Texas with access to real burritos. (Full Disclosure, I love Chipotle, but c’mon would you turn down a giant stuffed meaty burrito on a fluffy, homemade flour tortilla?)

Man. Taking that duct tape off of her nipples is going to suuuuuuuuck.

Right? I’m a bit saddened. I thought those crazy kids would last.

Deodorant all the way. One way to relieve that chub rub.

Fucking THIS. My roommate gets high and drunk everyday at all hours when he isn’t working and it stinks up the house something wicked. I now associate weed with deadbeat thanks to him.

I clocked in on searching for six of those terms. Where’s my cookie?

I got the runs just looking at that.

Meek Mill’s tour rider sounds delicious and all but lost me at the no hot wings rule. Me thinks he doesn’t know how magical blue cheese can make them.

Shit I was thinking about Madoff (don’t ask...seriously, don’t) at the time. Thanks for the catch, too bad I can’t edit it.

The serendipitous moment brought to you by Mr. Madoff.

Damn, now I want yogurt. Also, I shall henceforth call my Chobani cups delicious, lesbian yogurt.

I named my vagina Jezebel way before the website. Also my tits are Dita and Tera. I’m quite fond of my bits tbh.

Here is my two cents. I ADORE my standing desk, especially since we have the option to sit as well. A much needed option on those pesky “lady days.” I came from a job where I was always moving around plus my ass hurts whenever I sit too long. I also make it a point to walk around my desk or do a little jig every now…

FEMINIST PIG!