Telling the nebulous public “I’m sorry I trapped you and jerked off in front of you”....

Wait a minute, so the only true apology is one where the perpetrator gives a detailed account of every wrongdoing? When has that ever happened? Do you expect Argento to finally tell us in detail how she liquored up a teenager, then stripped him, went down on him and finally mounted him (in a much more descriptive…

You are lying. He admitted to his wrongdoings and he apologized.

Since she’s forgiven him for a phone message he left 11 years ago, I think we can too. 

*clears throat*

The dude is in recovery going through a custody battle. He stepped away to focus on his treatment and not relapse during a very emotional/stressful period in his life. I’m not sure why this is so hard for everyone to grasp.

Thank God there were no cops. One of these guys would have wound up dead.

Alternate headline: “Dipshit picks fight with pro athlete, loses.”

Good god Ford. Just slap some cladding on and give us this.

That actually looks pretty good. Now if only they brought over the ST Estate-

Here’s the simple fact: The Washington Post did journalism the right way, and Jezebel did not.

Good god when did the country get so stupid?

The only thing in that list that isn’t taken out of context as part of a larger comedy bit is “He defended Daniel Tosh after his rape jokes” - which he didn’t actually do. Almost everything else on the page is not some random hateful statements, but intentionally controversial things selectively taken from his standup…

All words are made up. Don’t be an asshole

It is amazing that Jeep hasn’t addressed the poor race track handling of the Wrangler.

Isaiah is just furious because he knows hes playing Mugsy in the sequel

Congratulations to the Cleveland Cavaliers on advancing to the NBA Finals with a 3-0 sweep of the Boston Celtics!

I feel like you’re burying the “Aaron Hernandez quoted Savage Garden in his suicide note” lede here.

He should’ve turned off the wipers..

A few stray observations.