Just because Riley cooper is white doesn’t mean he's a slot receiver...racist

This will almost certainly put him at odds with former teammate and notorious crip Wes Welker.

Are we ruling out the possibility that he’s secretly sworn to the Dallas Cowboys, though?

The Jersey plate?...... I’ll show myself out.

By $50,000, I’m pretty sure he means he’s dumped that much into tri bikes over the years. This bike goes for about $10,000.

Dammit Otto, you have lupus.

This explains Rodgers’ performance this season.

no problem, it also has the tailgate from a tundra

Hey I have a girlfriend that cooks great food, takes care of the children, washes the dishes and cleans the house. One problem though, she is really ugly.

9 letters (-1 letter) Coincidence?

Hot take: Zoolander isn’t that funny.

I am wondering if people are ever going to wax reminiscence about Geo Metros or Chevy Cavaliers.

Lil’ update. Rousey basically predicted exactly how the fight was going to go when she was on the Tonight Show a month ago.

Considering rizzo is the oldest player in that picture at 26, and we're going to add pitching, it's coming soon. Cards are gonna lose Heyward and have nothing left

Don't worry St Louis, it'll be baseball season soon... Oh wait

Careful. Tesla fan boys might electrocute you for saying this

This take is dumb as fucking dog shit.

Dammit, Chrysler! You had one shot. One opportunity.

Uh, “Free Jalopnik” then write a cross through “Gawker Media” writen below.

Very few cars were not improved by adding buckets of horsepower.