Coulda picked a team with a little more personality...

Rudich had hoped to have Ray Rice come out and give his blessing, thinking that would really knock her off her feet.

hes got a cube or some crap like that.

Hubba hubba!

"Hey there Jimmy Jams do you recognize me? It's Officer Jack, do you know why I pulled you over? You're being charged with messing up the lyrics to Danny Boy and one count of sleepy eyes. Now jump in and let's go get our dicks sucked."

Matt Walsh coaches football?

Wut? How did VW Guys not make the list? Those dudes on Vortex are rabid.

"Johnny Manziel texts coach 'come get me'."

Not to distract from the glory of this — because it's goddamn spectacular — but why does this person have so many cameras outside of the house? Looks like three different shots.

We at Team Dog regret this incident and plan on investigating further.

NFL won't suspend players for drunk driving, spouse abuse, and a whole host of other illegal things but pot...POT. NFL is so fucking regressive.