How in the hell did you get two torties to not maul each other? We tried to take in another tortie a couple years ago, but it really beat the hell out of our other (longtime) tortie—-not only beating her up, but essentially exiling her to a single room upstairs. It got so bad that our longtime tortie started losing…

Exactly. Follow the money.

HER NAME... HER NAME IS TOLFREE. TOLL FREE. THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A PHONE, AND THE PERSON'S NAME IS TOLL FREE.

Old Rasputin is good. Thanks for acknowledging that.

I am very much pro gun control. But this is where I truly expect pro-gun people should be agreeing with me/us by saying that these photos prove this guy does not practice responsible gun ownership/gun safety, and therefore he should not have a gun. I can't count the number of stickers I see all over that say shit like…

It actually looks like he pulled the throw because, as you see, right around the time he releases the ball, the runner has rounded second and is headed to third. It's like he sprung up and thought, "THROW TO SECOND" then immediately realized that ship had sailed so he tried to pull his throw, but that ship had sailed,…

The F-14 is fucking awesome. I was very sad when it was announced they were retiring them.

I had the same reaction. "Yeah, I'm kind of a hippy. Wear a lot of hemp, drink a lot of kombucha, love me some Grateful Dead, and, you know, run a cockfighting ring where we attach knives and shit to the roosters' feet. Oh, also, I'm totally gonna convert my VW bus to an electric vehicle as soon as I save up enough…

Yeah, he definitely pulled his punch. Not saying that's a cool move to punch a woman, but it doesn't look like he was going for a KO.

Thank you! Good rule: never. It doesn't matter what season. Never leave your kid inside your car when you are going somewhere. Here in Colorado, a woman left her kid in the car when she went inside a gas station. CAR STOLEN WITH KID INSIDE. It's a fucking pain in the ass, but there are a lot of tedious,…

Yeah but the big torso keeps it from just blending via seamless hips.

Their reactions are the same as when a person is in new company, and cracks a racist joke, then sees that no one thinks it's funny. And the three of them represent the most common personalities/reactions in that situation:

Here's to hoping Peyton Manning does his part to keep Planned Parenthood up and running in OMAHA, OMAHA, OMAHA!!!

Wow, that guy really hit a nerve with you, eh?

This was quite a long lecture about sex and all its implications and consequences considering it's written by someone who's never had it.

Or, too bad for everyone else.

That's a salad, though, right?

"Why are you trying to hide blades in a greeting card, bro? The photo boasts a cheeful caption about the fact that all blades must be checked, but mentions nothing about the fact that someone actually hid weapons in a greeting card and what happened to them."

"Well, if you saw We're No Angels, you'd get the reference."

Sorry, can you tell me what you mean? I mean that sincerely. I ask because I really have no idea and I don't want to come off like that. And also because someone else replied to your comment and your reply to that referenced me talking about Hispanics looking like the help, none of which I said at all.