It is fine to prefer one kind of beauty over another. No need to disdain other people’s looks. The world would be very boring indeed if we all unanimously agreed on who the best looking people were—there’s only one George Clooney and one Lupita Nyong’o, and they can’t fuck all seven billion of us.

I’ve only been able to listen to Quiet Uptown twice, because that song just unbuttons my soul and leaves me leaking into a puddle of goo on the floor. It’s like a musical samurai sword to the gut. I don’t know if I’d survive a third listen.

Nothing emasculating about love. But it must be a little embarrassing to pout about the existence of gay movie characters like a tiny princeling who’s wet his nappy.

I hope you’re not talking about the national treasure that is Gail Collins. She is sunshine and laughter and acid and elegance and warm absurdity and I won’t hear a damn word said against that lady. She is the best.

It would probably be a significant mistake for Obama to make a recess appointment to the Supreme Court, and for all kinds of reasons:

Come now. Humans can explore the secrets of the universe and also enjoy very silly jokes. The two urges actually work pretty beautifully together. There’re an infinite number of joyfully dumb black hole jokes just waiting to be discovered, man. It’s what makes our species great.

Nah. Politics junkies love this shit. Look at you right here.

I know being an obstreperous dick sure helps to win people over to our argument.

Oh good. I see we’re well on the way to an edifying conversation of mutual respect and [smashes wine bottle, brandishes jagged neck, licks blood off lips]

That piece by Ryan Lizza in the New Yorker is such a cracking read. It’s a long one, but incredibly illuminating, and scary enough to require a change of underpants. I was out to dinner with friends last week and pulled it up on my phone to read a quote, and everybody was so gripped and astonished that I basically…

just gets high all day, and he is a man in his 40s. so yeah pretty pathetic

Yeah, strikes me as a pretty excellent way to spend any decade of your life.

Yeah, I’m in a similar frame of mind. Donald Trump is a shrieking prolapsed asshole, but it’s looking more and more like Cruz actually did step over the legal line with the voter violation mailers. The New Yorker makes a fairly trenchant case for them being significantly more malicious than what is usual even in…

It trivializes the unique and precious bond between sister and brother.

I really liked it. It was great silly fun, and it managed to find some very solid middle ground between new tricks (Doody playing These Magic Changes through Danny’s athletics sequence and Marty’s quick-change USO performance) and giving the audience (and probably the network execs) a lot of the warm, familiar stuff…

Then stop sexting me, you delightful pervert. One more shot of your D and it’s curtains for your KD.

It’s such a peculiar phenomenon when people feel compelled—genuinely compelled—to loudly announce their contempt for some particular cultural artifact that other people seem to be enjoying. It’s as if they don’t actually have the personal confidence to just be at peace with their preferences; they have to actively…

I’ve always thought that was decent of them. And didn’t they throw in a 20-pack of Timbits and a beaver tail too? I may not be remembering that right, though.

Hey, it’s not me making the rules here, man. That’s the official sentence for teen sexting handed down by the Canadian Supreme Court for Decency and Politeness, comprised of Wayne Gretzky, Margaret Atwood, Samantha Bee and the Mighty Gitchi Manitou. Take it up with the grand fromages.