You sound like you’re having a bad day so I’ma get you a muffin too.

I think maybe you and the baby Jesus are gonna be sad for a long time, friend. I feel bad about that and wanna get you maybe a blueberry muffin? Cause improper word use is what makes language dope but being sad about stuff sucks so I’ma get you a muffin.

Delicious chemicals. I like ‘em synthetic as shit, and in me quick.

Oh for sure, but my inebriated point was that even if the technical, traditional meaning of a toxin means deadly shit of organic origin, that ship has fucking sailed. That ship is done. That ship has joined the fleet invisible. It is an ex-ship.

Oh fuck I’m microbeading myself #fishsolidarity

Sorry. Lil bit drunk. lil bit

if fish eat microbeads, which can soak up toxins like a sponge

Man, I’d swear Saddam only got 99.96% of the popular vote. But either way, the people of Iraq really loved that dude. He truly brought that country together. I wish we had a leader who could inspire that kind of loyalty. Great guy. Super guy. Think he’d ever consider running as Trump’s VP?

I mean, don’t listen to his advice because it’s dumb and phones are dope (I just got mine surgically grafted to my hands which makes showering a lil complicated but still totally worth it). But it seems unfair to dismiss everything Fassbender says just because he once cheated on a partner. Dismiss everything…

She’s Swedish, yeah, but not naturally blue-eyed or blonde. She’s been given an odd bronze look on this cover, but she absolutely does have olive skin. Just not this olive. Seems like a peculiar editorial choice, but then I’m chronically befuddled by fashion styling in general, so what the fuck do I know?

Moxie Crimefighter really is the best name. Like, all other parents get the fuck outta here cause you can’t beat that shit. It’s too good.

Oh totally. It was wildly, excruciatingly inappropriate. But somehow coming from Miriam Margolyes, a woman of notable and advanced peculiarity, it seems more hilariously bizarre than anything else. I mean, she’s also telling twinkly-eyed stories about wanking off strangers in the park, so her idea of appropriate…

No! Haven’t seen it! I’m gonna have to hunt it down. Ta for the tip.

You have great taste. He’s lovely, innee?

Oh god, me too. Why is it that Greg Davies’ “Jesus, Miriam...” is the funniest line in the entire thing? I mean, there are so many brilliant moments, but Davies’ horrified, traumatised delivery of that line is just........everything. It’s everything.

I laughed so hard I think I burst something the first time I watched it. I laughed so hard I had to lie down on the floor in the rescue position for ten minutes. I laughed so hard I nearly puked. I laughed so hard I had a laugh hangover, with stress sweats and muscle aches and a perilous need for carbs.

She’s incredible. I mean, she’s an absolute gift to any interviewer, but Norton seems to bring out the impish, filthiest best in her. I don’t even know how she’s real.

There are so many to choose from, but I think the Graham Norton interview I’m fondest of is this one with Will.i.am and Miriam Margolyes. It’s INSANE. And heartwarming. And filthy enough to make a sailor join a nunnery. I love how it starts out with Miriam being astonishingly weird and proceeds to get even weirder.…

That’s the dude! He’s essentially the most revolutionary thing to happen to Broadway since A Chorus Line. Lin Miranda’s basically re-invented an entire art form in one colossal, seismic burst. He wrote his first musical, In The Heights, while he was still in college, and five years later it opened on Broadway and ran…

Hey, what a nice thing to say! Thanks, man.