I’ve solved your mystery:

Clancy Brown? Shohreh Aghdashloo? I’m in.

Exactly how I read it.

I’m going to assume Countervailing Duties (tarrifs) on Chinese produced vehicles imported to the EU. They range by manufacturer, from ~17% (BYD) to 38% (SAIC) and potentially higher, depending on how compliant they are; and presumably, the ambient temperature and prevailing wind on the day of assignment may also…

Mouth breathing hangnails are already at it:

I would assume that 99% of bikini barista coffee shops justifiably have a hammer, pepper spray and/or a firearm within arm’s reach, because people can’t behave.

That there are 28 of them makes a difference, too. They are undoubtedly special cars, but not distinctly unique. This fire is unfortunate.

Edit: Apparently the voice morph is one of the stated features; I got fixated on the corporate mandated therapy break aspect and broke my own advice about reading before commenting. Shame on me!

Just add a speech-to-speech layer to translate angry callers voices into compassionate grandmas. It’s a lot easier to deal with irate customers when they sound adorable. Also, please don’t work for a call center.

Zero per month, that’s the cool part. They’re all self insured.

They really are excellent, especially in person. Saw one the other day and I absolutely did the stare back as I walked past.

They were going to mention it, but.... ehhhhhh

That’s a really different direction from the traditional Panda, but I do kind of love it.

I’ve really been hankering for a return of the Jeepster.

It might have been a post-publish edit, but it’s mentioned in the byline.

People value multiple aspects of a vehicle, yes.

They may have just done that out of force of habit.

I don’t think I’ll be taking a cruise to Alaska any time soon. That sounds like a horrifying way to die.

That’s genuinely neat trivia!

*June 9th