I don’t even own a Sunday!

I’m thrilled by this decision! I know there was a chance Lee Cowan might get it because he has a soothing voice that could totally put you to sleep.

I was riding my big wheel through a hotel my dad was looking after during off season(so he could write a book) and i came up to a room, where i shit you not, some guy in a dog suit was giving head to another guy. they both became aware of my presence and i fled. this was the 80s, before furries, mind you.

“the depiction of Mr. Walton (failing) to celebrate what is most emblematic of his past accomplishment”

Hamilton, people like you will never be happy until everyone has an equal opportunity to pursue the American dream, regardless or race, gender, national origin, sexual orientation or status of birth.

I WILL BUILD A WALL AND THE GOTHS WILL PAY FOR IT! -Emperor Trumpicus Maximus 416 C.E.

If this is the best foreign terrorists have got, I am not even remotely in terror of them. All the people injured in Chelsea are already out of the hospital. None of the people stabbed in Minnesota died. Nobody was hurt with their unexploded bombs.

Except for Adrian.

Don’t watch the NFL if you can’t stomach graphic violence.

This article was so charming it inspired a friend and I to dance the night away in my gleaming, glamorous, rent-stabilized Los Angeles apartment.

My parents are visiting right now and it’s driving me bonkers. My mom hates my bathroom and bought me new fabric shower liners to replace the perfectly fine rubberized plastic ones I have (fabric is apparently better). I wouldn’t normally give a shit but this came with a lecture on how awful my bathroom is and the…

An angry Baylor fan went up to confront MOB members after the performance. Rice students calmed the situation and walked him to concourse

I feel sorry for kids who didn’t grow up watching The Carol Burnett show reruns on off-brand network television.

“Yo, man, I just tried this incredible new circuit workout. You mope as hard as you can for 30 seconds, then sigh for 30 seconds, then sob for 30. Rest for 20 seconds, and do it again for 10 cycles. It’s hard core!”

Jams went below the knee! They were between shorts and capris.

They want all the rights to the road as cars, but don’t care for the rules. I live in MN and I have never seen more cyclist blow through stop signs and redlights.

Fuck bike riders who refuse to stop at stop signs and red lights.

I hate bike riders. They are entitled beyond belief. Whenever I’m in the left turn lane waiting for the left turn signal and there are bike riders waiting to go straight, without fail they go straight when the left turn signal goes on. So all of us waiting to go left have to wait for them as they steal our turn.

You lost me at “pro tip” and “waaaayy” yet I persevered to get through your silly comment. I’m strong like that!

Sorry, I’m just down here for the Doctor Who references (Bonus points for a plausible fanfic of why Clara is impersonating Queen Victoria)