I’ll take The Rapist for $200, Alex.

The Robert Evans MVP Pick?

That seriously is an awesome story. +1

What? They didn’t boo the Steelers? Now THAT surprises me.

This may take a long time, does anyone know where I can score some uppers?

I wonder what kind of skeletons Tim Tebow has in his closet? Oh wow I’m about ready to go do some serious fucking Googling!

Oh man, I wish I had a link for this!

I don’t know, it’s hard for me to imagine a football player putting his balls on a male trainer’s face. But stranger things have happened, I guess.

Just sitting across the room from Richard Dawson and Charles Nelson Reilly while they make off-color sex jokes would have been more than enough of a prize to me.

+1

Well said!

Definitely agree with the “benzo withdrawal is nothing to fuck with” statement. I was on Xanax for years and I took it AS PRESCRIBED but you can’t just stop taking it cold turkey; it can cause serious damage. I was forced to check into one of those hellish detox/mental health facilities just to get off of it. Just the…

So no more of the old “in out, in out” for our humble narrator? Sorry, couldn’t resist a “Clockwork Orange” reference.

I was going to skim this to see if my name appeared in it, but, well, I didn’t want my brain to spontaneously combust.

Brett Keisel and Hines Ward also appeared in this episode? Come on guys, I thought yinz were smarter than that!

Chad: “Why does my Abilify suddenly look and taste so delicious? And why did the voices in my head come back?”

Yes, for the upper classes. For everyone else, it’s the Wal-Mart Fashion Show.

This whole thing is terrible, but why am I not surprised that Xanax was involved?

About as scenic as a Tim Burton post-apocalyptic nightmare...

But my hair made it to Week 9!