Well as opposed to “raised left”, she certainly was raised right! Just, not when You mean right as a synonym for correct

Okay but can we also talk about him getting a mandatory sentence of 19 years for stealing a cell phone? Like in what world is that a proportional punishment?

Nope. Empathy develops in babies. Neumerous studies have demonstrated this fact. A teenager does not get a pass for cruelty.

As a fellow (male) teacher, I have to kindly advise to shut your ass up. School is not a job for these kids. Our students are not adults. If they want to dress in a way that makes them comfortable or happy, I’m all for it. If it offends your delicate sensibilities, I’m all the fuck for it even more.

True story: One of my friends from college told me one of his most vivid memories of middle school was the time he got a raging boner because of the way the girl he had a crush on was breathing. It was making her boobs go up and down.

Whatever it takes for him to stop hitting women.

I shared this last week, but I finally decided to go to law school, got a scholarship, committed to a school, and was pretty nerve-wracked about it. I haven’t told many people yet, just close family.

I’m getting pregnant just thinking about it!

Yep-abortion is worse than murdering your child because abortion is something mostly women do, while murdering your own child is more of a guy thing.

Fox News, keeps on, keeping on.

That’s fucking torture.

Every movie starring Mark Wahlberg.

Ha! This warms my cold, black heart. Today was a good day, with this and the Chaffetz news.

Remember, too, that half of his viewers helped put a guy who brags about grabbing women by the pussy into the White House.

I don’t wash my legs or my feet and I pee in the shower. IDGAF!

She should have been president...

Legally, you’re only allowed to brandish a weapon against law enforcement if they’re coming to confiscate your guns.

The Eva Gabor of armadillos.

Have you guys seen pink fairy armadillos because you need to see pink fairy armadillos: