Huh, my favourite magician has always been Harry Houdidn’tgrabmyass.

Because I’m a dick. Welcome to Deadspin for the first time.

Stealer Steals Steeler’s Steel Steed

“Stealer Steals Steeler Steed”?

I think what he said was pretty fair. “I don’t remember” seemed like an honest statement especially when he followed it up with “I am not calling you a liar.”

I know of just the right guys who can build it!

#wokeland

Where you from? Oakland, smokin...

West Coast, Best Coast.

Trump: Now get out there and grab ‘em by the pussy son.

Should have drank more water.

In honor of the Shockmaster’s entrance, I think Jordan should go by The Stairmaster

Yeah, who can handle that much Cologne?

Uh, the fact that 62 is a smaller number than 73 is the reason why Stanton’s number will not stand as the home run record. (There’s also the juiced ball, but we don’t even need to look that far into it, because... he’s not going to set the record for most home runs in a season!)

+.08 BAC

Dennis Miller’s big chance came too soon.

No, they HEARD a lot of new words. That doesn’t mean they learned shit!

Raider Nation learned a lot of new words with that speech.

The reality of the moment is sweet. That’s something that is subtle but special. When I look back on this time, when all this is said and done, I’ll always be grateful for this day.

Don't eat the salads at any restaurants. I've been working the food industry for 66 and 1/6th years. Each "lettuce" leaf is made from the spines of dead baby capybara fetuses. There's a factory in Regina, Canada that processes these spines. First they crush them into a fine powder that is mixed with a by-product of…