Um...women....please find another way to pay your rent. Please.

1) Which of the following statements best reflects the subtext of this article? Choose one:

What if you have the best dog in the world but you need more friends?

Borrowmydoggy.com if you’re serious. Hang out with as many dogs as you like!

Well, that’s a relief! He’s a lovely boy, and I’m glad you get to see him.

IT HAPPENED IN EXACTLY THE SAME CITY LAST YEAR.

Jesus. Um...thanks, Dad?

Oh, my. What a noble fellow! Is he called Tarquin? Or Fitzroy? Or just plain old Duke?

Tiffany Haddish. Tiffany Haddish. Tiffany Haddish.

I’m sorry to hear about your sitch. No such luck here - we both think of him as our, and each other’s.

I mean, thank you for setting it up? But, blimey. That really is worse. I saw it once, when it came out, and have never forgotten the bleakness of that ending.

Jesus Christ.

What? Seriously, what? He was driving towards them when the mist cleared, no?

Agree, agree, agree.

This is why I have to really be desperate to see a film on the big screen to go to the cinema. If I want to sit listening to people eat for 2 hours, I can hang out in a restaurant. Gross.

It is grieving, so give yourself space to do it and don’t think too far ahead. Your mum was right so follow her advice, but don’t be afraid to stay in when you just want to hunker down.

Because it has to get worse before it can start to get better. There’s no other way.

Then get thee to an iTunes and download Gang Signs and Prayer. It is accomplished from start to finish.

Oh, it’s not a dig at all, it’s just now he’s having his mainstream moment I just want it to spread as wide as possible. As evidenced by that snapshot at the Brits, the space he’s increasingly taking up in the public discourse is unique and vital.

I don’t know much about Seacrest, but it does seem to be the uniform of the “penitent”. Over here, there’s a PUA/“comedian”/nobody’s sure what he is called Dapper Laughs. He was a rip-off of that guy whose name I forget who got banned from every country in the world. Anyway, when Mr Laughs’ particular brand of rape…