I agree 99%.

*Sniff sniff* Good bye sweet prince... I’m changing my oil tomorrow night. I’ll be sure to pour out some 5w30 full synthetic for you.

Plot twist. The hookers are men.

You kinda described a heart attack.

That’s what your Butler’s mouth is for.

In some places that color combo is still frowned upon.

I’m just poking fun... We make enough to buy 4 boxters a year. I’m a walking 1st world problem..

You flew almost a sixth of the way across the continent in the wrong direction! Now we don’t have enough money to get to Aspen, we don’t have enough money to get home, we don’t have enough money to refuel the plane, we don’t have enough money to get to our destination!

That chick to her left looks like Miho. Me likey!

Oh god. I feel like I just took a shit, ate it, threw it up, and ate it again.

My Porsche has a salvage title...

You mean sell new cars.

I turn my high beams on in the fog. Cause they reach out far and I’ll get “pings” from reflectors down the road.

I’ve done that hair pin going up to lake minnewaska quite a few times.

Does the epinephrine come from the brain or some organ underneath the neck?

I’m not sure if you’ll have the time to do that while you’re feeling literally all the pain in the world...

That’s horrifying?

I think if your head gets ripped off, it probably has enough oxygen that you’re conscious for like, 5-6 seconds. And during that time, you’re probably feeling all of the pain...

Here’s a message to all you people who deny climate change because you’re either stupid or ignorant or a hypocrite:

If it’s any consolation to you, that bear is most likely in a better place now.