Charge your phone, dammit, that’s making me antsy.

*ahem*

I’m a niners fan. A real one. I had low expectations. And low hopes. I just wanted an offensive td. But come on. That offensive PI call deserves way more attention. I kno the Vegas line was -2.5?

I read this as “25 Bengals ended the day with a better passer rating than Andy Dalton”.

I agree. I’m fine with players hitting and raping women. But don’t disrespect Merica.

Lucky for this bar brawling, boob-grabbing domestic abuser that he didn’t take a knee during the anthem, or his career would be over.

A close call, I think we can all agree.

And after so many fantasy drafts already took place...tsk, tsk, tsk...

I’m just grasping at anything that will help me make sense out of all of this.

Absolutely no way in hell the Niners were taking Trubisky at 2. If they believed he was a franchise QB, it would have taken a lot more than a third and a fifth to pry the pick away given how highly even decent QBs are valued in the NFL. Once you establish that as the groundwork for a deal, you’re better off calling…

Good sir, the President is a coked up orangutan, not a drunk. Please do not besmirch his good name with this error.

Maybe he should try to buy a team now, for all our sakes. The NFL requires extensive financial disclosure from potential owners, so maybe we’d finally get Trump’s tax returns and an idea of the full extent of his business dealings.

Good point and further proof that he’s a few billions shy of being an actual billionaire: he can’t just buy an NFL team.

Also, President Trump made an outstanding catch to keep a Pats drive alive. The ball was tipped, he was surrounded by Falcons players and it looked like the ball hit the ground. Upon further review, it was revealed that President Trump’s massive hands prevented the ball from hitting the turf.

Everyone forgets the Indians went up 3-1 against the Cubs.

He didn’t lash out at all Pats fans. If you could read, you would have seen that he exempted the few, non-showboating, non-victim-complex, non-bandwagon Patriots fans from his rant.

Let’s not forget that a man who grew up in New York who is a bandwagon fan of a Boston sports team is our president. We have elected literally the worst sort of person.

Your dad would be proud at what an insufferable fuck you’ve grown into. Good to know you’re the only person who’s ever suffered loss in the world.

I feel for your pain. And I’m going to try to say this in the nicest way possible, but ... he wasn’t the entire country’s father.

Today on this site, when I posted that I couldn’t get as excited for this win as I did for 2015 (because of the Trump stuff), I received these comments: