My two seconds after reading this reply experience: miming jerking off while rolling my eyes.

oh no

ok, so maybe we should just start using “better names” for things (same as for animals, where a llama is “giraffe sheep” and skunk is “fart squirrel.”)

I’m far more likely to use the James Comey party hack; stand at the edge of the room and try to blend in with the curtains.  

This isn’t the least bit odd in the donk subculture:

Goddammit another misleading headline: totally thought this was going to be a Mr. Robot style hijack and am disappointed it’s just workaday folks doing good things for strangers. Borrrring!

Don’t forget to see a therapist about your germaphobia.

Goes to show how naive I am that I read the headline and thought this was some kind of stupid but lighthearted Ratatouille situation....

Internet: There will be a real life Pikachu Detective Movie.

Also as a suggestion: bring plenty of wet wipes/packaged napkins. After you pound through the scampis and breaded shrimp, your hands will be super-greasy where even wiping it on the paper napkin will be insufficient to get the grease off your fingers. If you’re weak-willed like me, you’ll think,

“Man, my hands are…

I was going to call them dumb, but if they cost less than $3 then you are only paying about a buck for a little bit of convenience and that’s fine.

Mario was not born of flesh, like you or I. 

Back in college (89-93), we would fill flasks with Jack Daniel’s. We’d go to the movies for a matinee, buy a large Pepsi. Then, go to a bathroom stall, and dump out enough soda that the contents of the flask would fit in the cup. Voila-Movie Jack N Coke.

“I have some quibbles with Rowling’s world building—how does magic work, exactly?”

He really is... all that.

...made from similar stuff in human finger nails.

See also: calling anything you don’t like “hipster.”

“Stoked”? “Killer”? “Crushed”? “Dude”? That isn’t millennial internet slang, that’s bro speak. Internet slang would be “isn’t that Negroni lit af, I can’t even” or whatever.

I heard an interview with Fieri where he said of donkey sauce, “Look, I know it’s aioli, you know it’s aioli.” But if he wants to get middle America to try it, they won’t try it if he calls it “aioli”. By giving it a silly name, he’s branding it as something people in the Midwest will eat. It’s easy to laugh at people…