I’m so sorry to hear you’re having trouble with your deadbolt! You should probably just figure it out though. It’s pretty easy. Kind of weird that you came to us for that.

What the fuck? Why did you feel the need to bring up Fox news or the SOTU in this question about how to clean a dryer?

The flu shot doesn’t guarantee you won’t get the flu, unfortunately. There are too many strains for it to be completely effective. Every year, medical researchers have to decide on the 2 or 3 strains they think will be the most common, and develop the vaccine for those strains. So you can still get unlucky and get a…

Here’s a quick cheat sheet.
Are you coughing so much that you pray for the sweet release of death just so you can sleep forever?
You probably have the flu.

Also depends on how much money/PTO you want to lose if you don’t get sick days. Cause the U.S. fucking sucks.

stay at home so you don’t give the unwelcome gift to any of your coworkers and friends.

The thing I find so confounding about the complicity of USAG/MSU/USOC is... why? Once the allegations started to surface, why keep him? Did this shitstain appear to offer anything special? Did he seem to possess unique skills above and beyond the average sports medicine practitioner? Or was it really just the purely…

I... what?

This is exactly the kind of slightly lazy, petty revenge that I support.

When a bird poops on my car, I make sure to have chicken for dinner.

I’m really conflicted about this. The gamer in me says, “Hell yeah.” But the rest of me thinks that education is too important to just stop partway through. Obviously a lot of education systems—and I don’t know about Sweden’s—need a huge overhaul to accommodate different types of people, but to just bail completely…

3. Slow sprint-out time: WWII’s multiplayer maintains a decent pace of action, but the game often feels like it punishes submachine gun rushers. “Sprint-out time” is the time it takes your gun to come back up and fire after the player finishes sprinting. If a player is rushing to an objective point and an enemy…

Congratulations on having a shitbag for a son, if you really are the father and not some troll. You should yank him up by the scruff of his neck and ask “what the fuck are you doing?” like a real father would.

People of Japan, we don’t like him either.

Purple tomatoes? Now I’ve seen everything.

The SWAT officer who pulled the trigger is to blame. The person who called the fake incident into the police is to blame. The person who passed along the victim’s address is to blame.

That’s impressive. I think you have a keeper.

As is so often the case, a working knowledge of MST3K saves the day:

The saving grace is that Andy Warhol would have loved this story.

Is this OK?