My wife bought me an oil filter for my KTM. Once. Well, she bought me the KTM too. All I had to do was buy her an Escalade. I think I got ripped off.........

My brother was an arcade god back in the day. He got kicked out of an arcade for completing Pacman. He got through the highest screen and beat it. When it tried to go to the next screen it rolled over to zero, and started showing gibberish on the monitor. He got kicked out because the arcade owner thought he broke the…

Measured in Smiles per Gallon.

Corners better.

“You people?” WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN, “YOU PEOPLE”?

Hmm, they should make it so your HUD can lose service like your phone out in the wild.

Yeah, I’ve had some close encounters on that drive too. Not to mention just driving up there at night.

ha, not far at all. Especially considering driving to Wausau anytime you needed school clothes. Living up there would be so much easier had Amazon been around.

Beat me to it... annnnnnny day now.

(Hopefully before I die... I just want to listen to a new Tool Album before I die. Is that too much to ask?)

Tool is always appropriate. In every situation.

I’ll see your Vicarious and raise you “Perfect Sync,” the hidden track from 10,000 Days. 

Appropriate

Tool rocks! Badass song.

WHERE IS YOUR DIXIE HORN NOW?!

She’s lucky, a woman in Kansas had a house land on her.

I bet it still starts.

(whispers) If you want it to be.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

There is a throw a way line from Tombstone where Sam Elliott says that the people of Tombstone are suffering and Paxton comes in and says
I’m sufferin’... from a hangover” with a the most majestic shit eating grin. I say it nearly every morning after a big night out. I’m single btw.