There is just something about McCollum’s 2018 tweet, “Im trying Jennifer,” that conveys such honest, weary, determined perseverance.

Mr. Burneko, your views on a few issues—say, the order of desirability of Democratic presidential candidates—differ radically from my own. Normally, this wouldn’t be worth mentioning, except that the vexation it causes me is escalated from a manageable 3 on the Annoyance Scale, up to an eye-twitching 7 or 7.5,…

I loves me some Elie Mystal (even though he’s long been overly critical of the Obama administration, for reasons I can only wonder at) for his terrific political insights, but also because I’m pretty sure one of his daily goals is to insert a geek reference into every one of his appearances on talking head pundit…

They may not have been exclusively for the culture, but any story touching on T.I. As a legit mensch really ought to at least touch on the fact that he’s talked suicidal jumpers off of ledges...twice.* Pulling a driver out of her flipped-over car, as is mentioned at the link, is just icing on the cake.

See, that’s the problem— You did more or less release the no-collusion, no-conspiracy, no-obstruction Mueller Report to the public. Now, the HJC and the American people would very much like to see the full, unredacted, non-cherry picked version. You know, the original one.

If the Bucks are smart, they’ll do everything they can to keep Antimetopízei as happy as possible in Milwaukee. It was a long time ago, but I’m pretty sure that the collective psyche of a city never truly recovers from the sort of trauma that comes with losing an all-world talent like Kareem so early in his career,…

Actually, Doom should’ve kept company with folks like Luke Cage more often. After all, Doom even acknowledges his poor talent evaluation and employee-hiring skills in a no-nonsense fashion:

Also, noshies.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

How in Christ’s name is this not a parody???

Dude, spending $117 at a strip club in Miami is about what you’d expect it to cost for parking, entrance, and maybe—maaaaaybe—-a virgin piña colada and tip.

Gary Larson and Bill Waterson were some of my greatest inspirations as a young person.

There’s also the fact that thematically that works because so much of the plot is about loops, after all look at Tony’s plans for the time machine... it’s just a giant loop.

THANOS: I am inevitable.

Tony does. He has gone on a journey through the MCU, he has expected this very moment and knows the sacrifice play he has to make is the key to saving the world, saving his friends and his family. Tony has the willpower to sustain the power of the stones, he snaps, and the power surge from the snap kills him.

Wait a minute, Cap’s not gay?

Even when the dimmer bulbs who might read Jezebel forces her to be more expository than she’d like to be, I do so dearly love these Cannibal Witch rant-swipes.

Why, thank you! Perhaps you might enjoy my retelling of Thag and the Denisovan girl(s), or maybe my shorter spiel on the nation’s chief negotiator, Cheif Negotiator. Anyhoo, now I need to shine up a spot on my mantle for the Ig-Nobel your good wishes may bring me!

See, that’s the problem, right there. If only they had chosen to fill it with crocodiles (well, the financial parts of the DC machine, anyways), we’d all be much better off.

Alligators maybe fine mothers but they are notoriously bad at monetary policy.