Why, thank you! Perhaps you might enjoy my retelling of Thag and the Denisovan girl(s), or maybe my shorter spiel on the nation’s chief negotiator, Cheif Negotiator. Anyhoo, now I need to shine up a spot on my mantle for the Ig-Nobel your good wishes may bring me!

See, that’s the problem, right there. If only they had chosen to fill it with crocodiles (well, the financial parts of the DC machine, anyways), we’d all be much better off.

Alligators maybe fine mothers but they are notoriously bad at monetary policy.

Eegads!  The subtle, trembling animation of this crypto-gif makes it deeply, deeply unsettling.

Dunno, man. When I had a lung infection and related late-onset asthma two years ago, I was coughing so hard that I’d actually pass the fuck out. Like, I’d be coughing, and another cough would start halfway through the ongoing cough, and all of a sudden, everyone in the room would be clustered around me with…

Hoover: “So, about this racist joke...”

Yeah, the lack of a counterpoint,* or of any sort of response at all, to Gebre’s legal call-out on his suspension, tells me that Trumke has neither enough legit ammunition nor enough sticky, flingable bullshit to justify this hasty power move.

Divorce court? Really?

I hear you, and I think I understand the place of good intentions from which the idea of this law may have sprung. But one only has to consider the effect this law would have upon anyone bringing rape charges against a member of law enforcement to understand how very, very bad this law would be.

Thank you! Does it come with French freis, or maybe onoin rings?

Yea if you are looking to Obama for wisdom then you are totally lost.

Mr. Mirkinson, you’re burying the lede! In the list of Wohl’s Hall of Fame idiot qualifications, you left out NeX Capital, the hedge fund management company Wohl created.

Unfortunately strokes ar are not that uncommon in relatively young people Luke Perry was only 52 and having hypertension like Singleton put him in the high-risk category.

How fortunate that our country’s chief hostage negotiator is actually named Chief Hostage Negotiator.

I’ve seen stranger.

I find it infuriating when people like many things that I don’t.

“Everyone’s got a plan, until they have to determine the Laplace transform of the derivative operation.”

That is the correct take, yes.

Like a giant badass duck wearing storm trooper gear!?!

[...]a real doctor! He served in the military for 15 years! Internationally! He was a Red Cross volunteer for[...]