lol Apple: Putting lipstick on a pig since 1976

That was awesome

[...]early modern humans mated with Denisovan populations on at least two different historical occasions[...]

Say what you will about the fbi but they love a good predawn raid.

Whoa, the KGC! I’d forgotten all about them, ever since...shit, ever since college. Thanks for reminding me just how many kookpot conspiracies marinated in the stew that was the mid 19th century-to-WW2-era United States. (Business Plot, anyone?)

She’s astounding. It’s...it’s as if some mad scientist had spent decades harvesting America’s mental images of the stereotypical “quirky, New-Age girl from L.A.,” and imprinted all of them onto the Platonic ideal of a Manic Pixie Dream-Girl that he plucked from 1998’s timestream. Then he dropped her off in…

DON CORLEONE: Barzini will move against you first.

It’s not just all-girls schools, Ms. Gray: The pernicious culture of peer-to-peer ass slappery infects sports teams, too:

Even if we give that rancher the benefit of the doubt, and pretend that she really did find some things that she assumed were prayer rugs, it’s worth it to note that a piece of remnant carpet has long been the simplest and most accessible tool for surmounting razor wire-topped fencing. I’d venture that any “prayer…

I was hoping somebody would’ve smashed her phylactery so that she can never again rise to walk the earth.

FIRST ONE OF YOU SUMMUMABITCHES SAYS “DURIAN,” FIRST ONE OF YOU GETTIN’ DRUG OUT THIS HERE MUHFUCKER.

The Wall will become an albatross around our neck.

Looking forward to the D-O-double-G changing his name to:

B-but what will we do without this “elite force of anti-terrorist commandos?”

Unfortunately, we already had one of those.

*am now fearing the inevitable debut of bespoke genocide*

I have less in the way of legal expertise than a frequent viewer of Law & Order does, so I appreciate your schooling me on bail’s basic function, and why a skipped court date probably kicked my bail amount up a notch.

Well, the Bird Box(es) in the movie are full of Tweeting, so...

Couple years back, I got cuffed for an 18 year old traffic court no-show involving expired tags on my car. My bail was set at $63,000. I did not make bail.

I halfway expected the shot to pan out to reveal he’s carving up a teenage boy.