...aaand if the passengers on the left side of the vessel will look out the left windows, you will see that we have arrived at PEAK KINJA!!!

Haha! Oh, you!

al-Burn, you’re a great writer.  But you are but a child, NBA-wise.  Let the grownups talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The history is, if you surround LeBron withgreat, good, or even replacement-level teammates, he wins championships. Take your hobbled Boogie (who LeBron had to have passed on, or the whole “I never got any other offers” shit wouldn’t have happened), we’ll take Kawhi and another ring.

I’m guessing the LAL broached thr Boogie-as-teammate idea to LeBron during their courtship, and the King said, “yeah...naw.”  Otherwise, he’d be a Laker right now.

Holy shit, your username.  Goddamn, that’s the good shit, right there.

True, true... But Shaq conditioning and LeBron conditioning are pretty far apart on the career longevity scale.  

+1 for knowing yr firmament from yr fundament.

Feeling a little Laker Regret, now that your prediction came true? Sorry, no take-backsies. LA has gone from “who would want to play with Kobe?” to “who wouldn’t want to play with LeBron?” in 2 years. It feels like you’d have written this article about Kareem, Goodrich, McAdoo, and Shaq when they came to LA, even…

Spoken like a true Phoenix fan.

Understarred.  CRIMINALLY understarred!

Elena:  Putting Aziz Ansari’s pic up with monsters like R. Kelly, Bill Cosby, and Harvey Weinstein is pretty fucked up.  

This shit is under oath.  Lying under oath, as opposed to being weaselly and evasive, carries serious, serious penalties that aren’t easy to evade.  Whatever shits dude may or may not give, it’s hard not to believe him.

Everything I needed to learn about being a proper villain (who loses), I learned from Wile. E. Coyote (super-genius).

I’m a soft-hearted...nay, mushy-hearted guy. If I watch the near-end of Lord of the Rings—“no, my friends. You bow to no one,” I cry like a motherfucker. If I watch the end of Babe—“that’ll do, pig. That’ll do,” it’s full-on ugly crying, snot coming out my damn nose, bawling and breathing in spasms and huffs.

Yeah!  Except that dude (Rodriguez) had that thing go exactly where it needed to be.  So, crazy ball+future sight?

Yeah, show me a Russian who’s vegetarian enough to qualify for Airbending.  And yet...

“Involuntary muscle spasm.”  That’s some beautiful trolling.

One word answer: Witchcraft.

This is the Kinja we need.