Where in the actual fuck do I even hint at a conspiracy? I said that Proyas was criminally negligent, and that a whole bunch of things had to be done in violation of standard safety practice in order for Lee to have ever been in any danger at all. He was a corner-cutting, irresponsible, criminally negligent fuckup…

Oh, for Christ’s sake...

It’s the story of a successful season relayed in song by someone who learned about baseball exclusively through watching Kevin Costner movies and is running a very high fever.

Well, I’m not Black, so I could definitely be a racist. Hell it runs on both sides: My mom’s mom forbade everyone in her family to speak with her after she found out she’d married my Filipino dad, and my dad’s sister didn’t want a Black Belizian woman looking after my folks after their strokes. And I’ve seen racism…

I don’t think Donga’s maken it past Makenlove. I wouldn’t mind being wrong, though

THANK YOU. This isn’t the type of thing that should be omitted from an article about the dude, just because it’s “coming from a different angle,” or somesuch.You can neglect to mention Kyrie Irving’s flat earther stance, or Lionel Messi’s tax issues, but even a piece with an entirely unrelated aim should at least ackn…

Nobody is beating Dr. Narwahls Mating.

[...]until it reaches an alcohol content of 492 percent—slightly less than Wray & Nephew Overproof Rum.

Oh! Oh yes, of course. Thank you for clearing that up.

I haven’t been to the islands since ‘96 or ‘97. What’s the Matson/Young Bros. tax?

[...]it was common for people to steal Harley’s by having two or three big Samoan’s or Tongan’s heft them into the back of a panel van.

We’re not just giant robots! We’re family!!

Third-base is double penetration in Kentucky.

Now where are his ben wa balls bracelet?

No, no...That’s Richard Dmitri, who had bit parts on TV shows over the years, and starred in Mel Brooks’ short-lived 1975 show When Things Were Rotten, until it got cancelled half a season into its existence. Trivia note:In 1978, Dmitri was the first choice to guest star on a special 2-part episode of Happy Days, in…

Summon a batch. Cheet!

Man, you better shut your fuck up, okay?

Nah, the man doesn’t deserve the adoration of Prometheus fetishists. Let him instead choke on his own cognitive dissonance and poorly-seasoned hypocricy, then sell his various bones and organs, piecemeal and unmarked, to medical schools and scientific researchers worldwide. He should be made in death to pay at least…

So...

The above clip, which shows the late, doughy, and altogether unremarkable Andrew Breitbart taunting Occupiers at CPAC 2012 by droning the mantras“behaaaave yourselves,” and “stop raping! Stop raping the people” with a little dash of “you are all freaks and animals” thrown in for spice, really conveys the depth of…