Wait, really? L.A. jaywalking tickets are given out all the time, and can run $250, with a multiplier if you jaywalk through construction zones. And judges who sleepwalk through DUI or DWI hearings without comment will literally seize any opportunity to shake off their lethargy and deliver fire-and-brimstone sermons…

Hey, I thought the same thing as Takuro Spirit, and I live in a city of 4 million, in a county of 11 million. Los Angeles cops/sheriff’s deputies will definitely ticket your ass if they see you jaywalking, especially against a red light (as opposed to just cutting across a street mid-block, which is slightly safer,…

You’re doing the Lord’s work, rcasi.

I hear you. Just because it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, has bizarrely-shaped genitalia like a duck, identifies as a duck, has a 99.9999+% DNA match with a duck, was voted “Duck of the Year” 3 times in the late ‘90s by Actual Duck Magazine, won the 2015 Pawscar for Best Performance in a Drama for its role…

The answer is interpreter. Everyone who complains about the interpreter/translator thing is an interpreter. They are rare and beautiful boddhisatvas who are quick to let you know that calling them “translators” is tantamount to calling Mozart a “keyboardist.”.

Much tespect for using the Godzilla gif on a comment that mentioned the big guy’s birthplace!

That’s a really good highlight clip. Quality musical choice. 5/5, would look away again.

Larry Eustachy resigning because he didn’t listen to warnings about his school’s zero-tolerance policy is like Wally Optic quitting because he didn’t see eye-to-eye with his AD, or Bob Olfactory getting canned for not sniffing out illegal payments from boosters.

I read this in Jaques Cousteau’s voice in my head.

More like, “I can think of a thousand ways to frame this, and every one of them is too crude and sexist for me to feel comfortable writing. But, dammit, “Kumho” is too good not to use! Maybe if I just allude to the pun...”

Dammit, you had to go and be all civil and shit.

My God. I see the resemblance, but that’s still a terrible, terrible name.

“The S Cargo?” Are you expecting me to believe that someone actually named a car after snails?

No. Nobody in California gets to even think about complaining about property tax. You know damn well that we have Prop. 13 keeping property taxes scandalously low, which results in huge empty spaces where revenue should be. You want to know why CA schools are so poorly funded? Why big-box stores have enough clout…

<Something>, <something>, <something suggestive>... Kumho?

Pshaw. That last figure is clearly Omega the Unknown.

Oh, they’d be just fine, as long as they were stonefish or rock cod. Steelhead trout might be okay, too.

Lahar-dee-har-har.

Can I please state for the record just how much I love the growing colosso-crab that scuttles off, stage right?

Whoa, didn’t see that coming.