Your Kinja handle is like the thousandth name of God.

Yeah, your “floor!”

I think we can agree that Beyonce is also an outlier.

Huh. You make a good point. Aaron Judge is kind of an outlier, though—his New York-ness, and his out-of-nowhere-ness (he won the Home Run Derby, and he’s still just a rookie!) puts his memorabilia up in the stratosphere. Heck, at an auction just last month, some nudnick paid $157,000 for the jersey worn by Judge…

How’s about we write a lament on Deadspin about how sports players are pricing out kids who are their fans with their expensive memorabilia?

Mentally ill? What, did Jay imply that she paid $300 for a Lemonade boxed set, or something?

Your use of “Alanis” is beautiful and uplifting. And thank you for cluing me in on the “Becky with the bad grades” meme. I don’t know how that one passed me by.

Mos’ def. The underwater”OH SHIT, YOU’RE GONNA DIE!” theme has set the table for more hanky-pank than Barry White and Prince combined.

boy are you gonna feel dumb when you find out this cop killed somebody doing the exact same thing, and got away with it

Wait... Patrick, does this mean you’re leaving Lifehacker/Gizmodo?

Good Lord, that high-arcing pitch from the Japanese league at :42 seconds... Given the regimentation of Japanese baseball, there’s gotta be a story behind that!

but i understand like fuckin beyblade better than i understood the first half of this article

*reads article*

Nope, can’t agree with you on the “no big deal” front. Okay, you found a way around the emissions test for your ‘83 Escort, which was putting out unacceptable levels of hydrocarbons, CO1, CO2, or NO. So maybe a buddy of yours at the garage tested a newer car and reported it as yours, or maybe you worked some…

True fact: In the wake of Bush, Sr. presidentially vomiting into the lap of Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa during a televised state dinner at the Miyazawa’s home, Japanese teens began to use the term “bushu-suru” (literally, “to do a Bush”), as slang for “vomit.”

Oh, God bless you. That was my (mentally misquoted) mantra in the days following the Ferguson decision.

There’s a reason that neither Bill Clinton, nor George W. and his neocon posse, ever pointed triumphantly to single-day market gains, or even long streaks of continuous gains, crowing that they were proof of their administration’s economic policies. There might have been a mention in one of their SotU speeches about…

Dollars to donuts* says that Clark hit Ifedi with a Superman punch. It’s the only sort of “flying punch” that packs a high enough power-to-pizzazz ratio for someone standing on the ground to KO a NFL tackle.

Once again: