Classic closing sentence, Laura.

“I felt manipulated. Because obviously I felt like he’s saying one thing to me, say another thing to his wife,. . ."

No, pass it over. You've clearly been bogarting, dood.

Also today in New Scientist: Light frozen for an entire minute. Not just slowed, but stopped.

This is a scientific finding we won't just let squeak by!

I suspect we've all already been incepted many times and this is all a ruse to convince us it can't possibly have happened yet.

Now I ain't say in' those A-leaguers are dumbasses, but haven't they ever heard of condoms?

Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger. But you don't see her with no D-Leaguers.

This little stinker loves rolling around in the garden. Being mostly white, he leaves telltale signs when his scruff is suddenly brown with dirt from the hosta beds. Therefore, he gets the kitchen sink treatment. Now he hides any time I'm doing the dishes, only to pop his head back into the kitchen once he hears me…

I have a greyhound that gets baths maybe twice a year. He just doesn't stink like a normal dog. We do him in the bath... but greyhounds do this horrifying, hilarious thing where, if the water is warm, they kind of just collapse. So the bottom of the bathtub gets lined with towels, then the dog goes in, then he…

As if being bathed in the kitchen sink isn't horrible enough, to add insult to injury my step-mother uses the soap bubbles to make her dog look like a fawn.

I wonder what kind of pressure could be placed on Forbes to include sexual assault statistics as a part of their decision process on what makes the best school.

And you didn't even mention Penn State, which has a major freaking-out-over-punishment-handed-down-to-people-who-protect-people-who-rape-little-children problem.

Interesting how all but one of those theories were written by other women...

The most plausible explanation is that she's part of the reptilian shapeshifter agenda. People always forget about the reptilian shapeshifter agenda.

We are remiss in excluding black magicks, amnesia or pod people.

I came here all prepared to be like "WTF Jezebel, what do you mean 'everything wrong with Huma Abedin'" but I'm glad that was not necessary.

Here's a theory: Leave Huma alone, media amateur armchair psychoanalysts. Mkay?