This is exactly like letting Pablo Escobar design his own prison and letting his own men guard him. This will go well.

I really, really love the transition to “Turn Down For What” right after the dude goes through the table. Perfect timing.

These are the precious moments they’ll never remember

James Harrison just knocked over his dining table.

I bet CC Sabathia was even more upset he missed the game when he heard that the stadium was full of boos.

MORE LIKE SLOW-BE BRYANT.

My god, he’s so slow.

I’m not a religious man, but I’m on my knees, chanting skyward, “Please hire Lane Kiffin.”

Upon further review, there was no intent to kick. Suh just stumbled. Entirely inadvertent.

Dolphins sign Ndamukong Suh, look like AFC contenders

Ichiro is so awesome. Imagine if he started playing in the majors when he was 20 instead of 29. He’d have had one of the greatest careers ever.

Microgravity is all fun and games till somebody has to pee

The child was so scared that she was speaking in tongues.

I feel like that streak may also be broken this NFL season.

I’d just like to say as a Jets fan that I am tremendously excited to be watching such a distinguished rivalry game this Sunday morning at 9. Everton vs. Liverpool has all the ingredients to be a great game.

I am so glad my state (WA) outlaws daily fantasy, because the only thing more insufferable than a dipshit 12 on Sunday would be a dipshit 12 who had nothing but Seahawks on his Draftkings team.

“We’re basically trying to replicate everything that we’re doing here over there.”

ISIS does have a team. They go by the Cardinals.

Given that she is startled by something hung by a horse, she must be dating that Blue Jays fan.