Yes, I fear this too. Fear because it sticks us with pence who is a million times worse, because he can at least pretend to be a real adult, and knows how to actually work the system. Although, he’ll probably be doing all the work from day one anyway...

Oh honey, honey. He’s not going to do the actual work. He hasn’t done any actual work for years. Pence will basically be the CEO and Trump will be the “Chairman.” You know what they do? Get ready for endless rallies. Trump loves rallies. They’ll send him out to do lots of rallies.

I voted for Clinton the Working Families ticket. Because, as this viral twete puts it,

I got halfway through the Deadspin version (and I usually like them!) before my eyes rolled out of my head and across the floor so I couldn’t read anymore.

I believe “Because we aren’t fucking idiots.” turns it from potential shade to straight reading.

Shade? Shade.

Take it to Jezebel with that sports talk.

And a lot of the reasons it would be easier to elect her than Hillary are BECAUSE of Hillary. Hillary was the first First Lady in most of our lifetimes to be an outspoken, professional woman, and she took ALL KINDS OF SHIT FOR IT. And endured years of character assassination that poisoned a ton of left-leaning…

and who would you like that to be? seriously, who is this magical mythical savior? politics is *difficult*. people don’t want to run for president cause it fucking sucks. I’m willing to bet you have never run for office. So who is this fresh blood gonna be? You literally cannot make it that high up without fucking…

So was it like a Smurf dick or weird skin and blue tie dye?

Oh, good, I’ve always wanted to insert my penis into math.

Thank you, Dr. Dorian.

I always just imagined him at the grocery store with like jergens and like five package of liver.

Came for the picture, stayed for the comments!

Buzzfeed is always on the cutting edge of originality

rough up the suspect

As a penis haver, if I’m in the shower and need a quick testicular release, that bar of soap is far too complicated. Instead I reach for conditioner and proceed to rough up the suspect. Conditioner stays slick and it makes my penis smell nice afterward, and my wife won’t ask why there’s a fucking hole in a goddamned…

The forgot The Stranger. Sit on your non-dominant hand until if falls asleep and then jerk it.