The former Bernie bros on my timeline are losing their minds over this information. What a great way to get Bernie holdouts excited to vote for Clinton, Paul.

That’s more than what Tebow can do.

There’s not much harm done by giving Tebow a roster spot in the low minors

Supposed to be a pillar. Tebow can’t even do magic well.

[4:06] What the fuck is this the Grateful Dead or something?

90 minutes. The perfect length for any movie, sporting event, or paid sexual encounter. 

Any song longer than three minutes is basically jazz and therefore sucks.

This post was too long. Get to the point already.

Dying takes too long. I’ve been doing this shit for decades.

I remember when sex used to take 20 seconds, now it feels like like 5, even six minutes....I have G.I. Joes to play with, let’s wrap this up, peen.

I believe the correct answer is: 11. And Hillary Clinton has been an absolute disaster in her handling of the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand.

Most of America knows Indiana for Dan Quayle and Mike Pence. Honestly I’m surprised they haven’t built a wall already.

You people are worse than ISIS. Thin Mints or get the hell out of my country.

Clearly you are unfamiliar with the glory of tagalongs.

Mike Pence looks like a circumcision gone wrong and that is his best feature.

Little girl: Why is the sky blue?

“Sell the cookies, don’t eat them”

Trump/Pence 2016 - Make America Great Again (except for you uggos)

He released a statement about the Trump tape so by law he had to be both a husband and father.

Gov. Pence quickly added, “And could I get your number for Mr. Trump? He’s gonna want it in a couple of years. And those of your troopmates. But NO FATTIES.”