Coroner: Lead projectice was on its own path minding it’s own business with assailant jumped in front which led to damage to the projectile when it hit bone and tissue.

They only care about fetuses, once they’re pushed out it’s bootstrappy time!

laser scissors!

spoons and ice cream are making me fat!!

How about we give everyone access to a govt issue rifle after they complete a training course. That rifle can be kept at home and, should we need to raise a militia, they will be armed.

Planes don’t fly people, people fly people. Fancy engineering and aerodynamics are just decoration.

These “pro life” assholes sure don’t seem to give a shit about dead people.

The first amendment didn’t kill anybody either, but you’re still not allowed to yell fire in a crowded fucking theater.

People who say shit like that probably had teachers that said “I don’t know, CAN you go to the bathroom?”

The sad part is that I only recognize half of those dudes which means we’re so used to mass killings at this point that you gotta knock off at least a dozen before you become a household name.

and we have a well regulated militia. its called the fucking national guard so like this second amendment average citizen thing has never made sense to me. THE OPENING LINE IS ABOUT A MILITIA. If you have a weapon of war with zero regulation, and you aren’t in a militia. It. Doesn’t. Cover. You.

I need to stop thinking some people can’t get any worse. They’re taking it as a challenge.

“You know, Pete, to the Japanese fans, his NPB his count because he played in their league.”

Yes, too soon, you asshats. You are not SNL. You are Marines tasked with defending the people of our country. You don’t get to try (and completely fail) to be ironic or sarcastic on social media.

What the everloving fuck is wrong with people?

Who wants to place bets on how long it is before we get a similarly-ploted episode of NCIS?

Now, that being said, a “ban” on these types of weapons, or just making them put under higher scrutiny to purchase, will do very little to curb the gun violence in America. It may deter some mass shootings, but the vast majority of gun deaths in this country are still committed by handguns.

I know right? If Baseball was a team sport instead of an individual sport, I could understand him not winning a championship or even a playoff series, since obviously he would only be one player on a team of dozens that would each have to perform well in order to be successful. But since Ichiro is the sole reason as…

That take was so strong, it could bench 450 and squat 750.