Hey, thanks! I didn’t feel like going to sleep tonight anyway.

I initially clicked this because I was curious, “How the hell am I supposed to have sex before the date? That’s what the date is for! Who am I going to have sex with!?”

C’mon, Capcom. Announce Monster Hunter for the Switch already. I know it’s coming. You know it’s coming. Just give me the release date so I can schedule my vacation days accordingly.

They have the apple. Where’s the pen?

No, it’s to prevent confusion. Too many people were going into Trump Tower, saying, “I came in here to see a dick in Vegas.”

You want me to [say] that I think the election in Philadelphia and Chicago is going to be fair? I would have to be a moron to say that.

See, what these morons don’t realize is that you’re not allowed to touch ANYONE without his/her consent. That’s assault. And grabbing a person in the genitals is sexual assault. I suppose because no one’s touched these fuckwits’ genitals in a while, they must welcome it. If so, how about we talk about punching them in…

Sadly, this is true. Look at the past eight years and what the GOP has done to President Obama. I imagine it’ll be just as bad, if not worse.

Holy flying fuck, did someone honestly just claim that if abortion is okay, then rape is okay? That’s rip-off-your-arm-and-beat-you-to-death-with-it infuriating. He cannot be serious and, if he is, this fuckwit shouldn’t even be allowed to clean the bathrooms of a gas station next door to a government office.

He simply strikes me as someone who is trying too hard. He’s wildly insecure and that’s why he fashions himself a “ladies’ man” (ugh), decorates his condo so “lavishly” (gaudily), and gets so defensive about ridiculous things, like his small hands. He’s not comfortable with himself, which is why he looks the way he…

President Obama reminds me of a Hollywood POTUS. His looks, his demeanor, the way he speaks could be straight out of a movie. He brings class and dignity to the White House and is, quite simply, presidential. The same could never be said of Cheezus.

Now he just looks stupid.

That incredible sense of timing is why the Zodiac Killer was never caught.

As a Japanese-American whose family was affected by the internment during WWII, I can wholeheartedly give a giant “FUCK YOU” to Drumpf and his band of deplorables who want to deport/register/arrest/interrogate/ban Muslims.

To be fair, I’ll probably pay off my student loans when I turn 10,000 years old.

Well, he has tiny hands, so to him, it feels YUUUUUUGGE.

Married eleven years and I get it every day!

My thing is how fucking insensitive this is to Ichiro culturally. Ichiro has stated numerous times that he faced a ton of pressure coming over as the first Japanese position player. People in Japan were watching him because he was a hero, while people in the US were waiting for him to screw up. Read any of the…

Todd Grisham failed to see the irony of his tweet.

Swimming in shit in the Olympics is a better love story than Twilight.