You spelled taek wrong.

Damn. They didn’t even try to hide the fact they stole re-purposed Al Jarreau’s “Mornin’”. Happy Kwanzaa indeed.

This taek is so deserving of a lighter shade of black.

Why is Jr. holding up a cookie with the face of young Walter Cronkite in Obama colors?

Okay-okay. Hindsight being 20/20, maybe I should have turned the lights off... or roofied myself.

No shit. Even I’m afraid to be alone in a room with that dude and we all know what I did.

The way Jones caught the ball and rotated made him look as if he had just caught a pass from the pistachio elephant.

Apparently, Peterman brought a nice Spiced Honey Mead to the team’s weekly quarterbacks meeting. As punishment Sean sent him to the Pit of Misery. Dilly Dilly.

Who is the best two on two team in the NBA?

Atlanta got DP’d. Falcons banged the city in the slit true enough. But they did provide the city with a new butthole to replace the one that got screwed in secret when the Braves left the city to move to the ‘burbs. Screwing Cobb and the traffic even worse <- never even thought that could be possible.

old-school shaker-style carbon fiber scoop. As in, the “hood halo” is reminiscent of a shaker hood scoop. Looks like, not is. At least that’s how I read it.

Was the story edited? I didn’t see any reference to an intake.

That’s what Chevy says: “A special carbon-fiber “halo” hood is open in the middle to clear the LT5 engine’s supercharger/intercooler assembly.” 

Draw a straight line. Add termites. There’s the family tree.

Crunchy Sock Twitter - refers to assholes who sit on the internet all day, spend half the time watching porn and jacking off into a tube sock (pun intended), and the other half twittering shit on the cyber about other people. Next day, that sock is dried and crunchy.

If only you were a lot of people.

Wait, that’s not Urban’s hair now? Cuz that should definitely be Urban’s hair now.

80% off target, not 80% of target.

Colin Kaepernick is available. I mean, shit. It ain’t like he could do any worse.

I’m guessing he drove to the stadium in this