A fun thought I just had was that if Gina Haspel wasn’t a U.S. citizen by birth, her participation in a torture program like the one that she supervised for the United States government would be a lifetime bar on her ever gaining citizenship in this country.

I’m usually pretty finicky and grossed-out by shit other people do, but I agree that blowing your nose in the shower is Best Practices. Especially when you have a cold, it feels like in the shower is the only time when you really get it ALL out and can breathe, and then hopefully the steam can penetrate and convince…

I have literally never, not once, noticed if the shrimp I was eating was deveined or not. Maybe if they were the literally palm-sized small lobsters I was recently served as nibbles at a friend’s fancy Brooklyn wedding recently, but in nothing under that size is it ever going to make a damn bit of difference. You are…

Unless you’re my one grandfather who broke his hip at 98 while rollerblading. He had it pretty good. The last 2 years of his life were rough on him, though, going from being a totally self-sufficient adult for longer than most people’s whole lives to suddenly being “old.” Still, I think I’d be lucky if I got that…

She also lived through at least one famine caused by the state that was so bad that there’s well-documented reports of people eating their own children, which may clarify her outlook further.

Only first-worlders with lots of options and no experience of how bad the potential outcomes can be willingly drink raw milk. When I lived in Sudan, my host family bought milk once a week from a donkey cart that came through the neighborhood, and then they boiled that shit for 8 HOURS in a pot that wasn’t used for…

I love Francis. She’s not an Extremely Beautiful Woman, in the sense that Donald Trump is not going to be making her his 4th wife, but I feel like she knows what fashion can do in a way a lot of Extremely Beautiful Women don’t (see: all the basic tulle princess dresses with nary a nod to the theme at the freaking Met…

Not to be cruel, but Jenna Bush’s hair is exactly how I style mine for work when I haven’t washed it yet this week and it’s Wednesday so I can’t give a shit.

In order from things you are most to least likely to be having trouble with:

I do wonder if sometimes Jon Lovett lays awake at night and wonders if he just got off with Frank Sinatra’s son.

Jesus fuck, and no one wanted to dress her a few years ago? LOOK AT HER. She looks like a million bucks, and Christian Siriano gets to have his clothes seen on her. Best dressed of the night IMO.

What is the difference between a “personal identity” and a sexual orientation? And what the heck did you think all those Queer Studies departments in universities were about?

It sucks so much when Q&A audience members make the question about themselves.

Peanut butter.

I don’t know if this is a universal white/middle class thing, but my mother, who was not a good cook anyway, would reach whole new heights of vileness with her pork chops. To be fair to her, the regular grocery-store chops were cut way too thin to really do anything with. But it didn’t help that she made them the same…

Right? I LIVED in Prague for nine months, and have gone back several times since, and the only proof I’ve ever been there is the Visa Applied For stamp I got when I applied for a long-term visa (which I never got). If I’d never put in that application, there would be no proof I’d ever been there.

From this episode of Dr. Nerdlove, I learned that nobody on earth has actual nice friends and SO’s except me.

Heads up, the letter writer IS a cis male (and it doesn’t have to be all-caps - it’s not an acronym). He’s also straight - his experience with trans women does not change that. S (and you) may have to adjust your internal definitions of “straight” in light of this information, but that doesn’t making him not a cis…

Funny you mention the machine being broken. At one point, there were only three green card printing machines in my region, and two of them broke, so the regional backlog went from a few months to more than a year before a technician could come in to fix the damn things.